Should I send ex nasty message or just leave it?

He was a 2 month fling... almost a year ago. But at the time I was 19 and he was 26. I had only had done it once before and thought he was my boyfriend, but he just used me for it. I became emotionally attached. Whenever I asked to hang out, he would say OK, but then cancel it and say he'd be over later, then we would do it.

Anyways, he's from Brazil and went back 9 months ago... he told me over text he was leaving, and never came to say goodbye to me. He Facebook messaged me briefly when there, but I haven't heard from him in 9 months. It took me a bit to get over him, I cried constantly because I felt worthless and ashamed I let myself be used. I deleted him on Facebook 3 months ago because I didn't think I"d ever talk to him and wanted to cut off all contact, plus I have a boyfriend of 6 months who I"m very happy with, I honestly haven't thought of the other guy in a while. Out of the blue the other day, I get a messaged from him saying it's been a while and how am I. I acted cordial, and was surprised when he said he noticed I deleted him and that I took a while to respond, but at least I'm not so mad. I said to him that I'm not mad, I've moved on and have a boyfriend. He said he had a girlfriend himself. Then I said good for you and to have a nice life. Because why is he messaging me anyway? But I feel I was too nice. I actually got mad after I sent it because the feelings of how heartbroken I was came back. I really want to send him a message saying it was an awful thing he did ect. However, maybe it's better to not come off angry?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nah leave it. I know exactly what you mean though, he deserves all he gets for doing that to you, but in the end he won't be the one suffering you will be if you do send a nasty message. You sound like an intelligent nice girl and you don't need to lower yourself to his level. Let him stay down there and continue being the arse hole that he is. To be fair you have already given him a dig, you told him your with someone new and that you're happy for him. This will really bug him, because it shows you're happy and that you don't care about him, which obviously he is not, otherwise he wouldn't be messaging you.

    Next time he messages you just ignore him. You have suffered enough already feeling used. Say ciao to this one.

    :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • just leave it, trust me. It saves a lot of drama and it will make you look weak and immature especially to someone younger. You're better off just dropping it and being the bigger person here, only bad things could come from sending a nasty message :/

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  • He thought you understood it was just a fling, that' he'd go back to his country and you would be history.

    He didn't think you would get attached to him! Or, he didn't care if you did.

    Really, the age diffference should have told you he wasn't taking you seriously. Guys who are that much older are very rarely going to take a girl as more than a summer (or winter!) fling.

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    • now I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 27... he takes me pretty seriously.

      and he was supposed to stay here for a few years. or maybe that was a lie.

    • I think it was, yes...

    • Sending a nasty message just would make you look foolish. He wouldn't be hurt by anything you said!

  • If he was using you and probely others as well at the same time don't reply.You maybe dealing with a sociopath and he has a hold on you. Don't respond at all and block,delete contact phone numbers,emails etc If he gets you to respond by answering a text or whatever he is winning the "Game " . Messing with your head . Delete him from your life totally.

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  • yeah, what teamniceguy said.

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  • f*** it

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What Girls Said 3

  • Do not let him think he had that much of an impact on you,he didn't use you because I'm sure you had fun as well,he just wasn't honest about his intentions..u did well not showing anger,this way it shows him that maybe you USED him and didn't care and have moved on,we get attached to people because females are emotional beings,men not so much.Enjoy your new boyfriend and chalk up the douche bag as an experience ...who cares why he shows his face now,probably would not have mentioned he had a girlfriend if you didn't mention your bf,he is a cheater,i believe he had a woman back home the whole time that's why he disappeared,he is her problem now,u thank your lucky stars you saw his true colors before you got in even deeper

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  • This will sound rude but you're no child. The signs were there you chose to ignore them, you chose to have sex with him, you made yourself seem easy to him. He cancelled the plans he made with you, came over later and you guys ended up in bed. If this happened everyday don't you think you should have figured out he was using you.

    There's no point keeping in contact with you. He was your past your ex. You said yore happy with you current boyfriend. Don't let your past interfere with your future. You messages him and had the last word. Leave it at that. There's no point saying anything mean and rude now. It'll only make you appear immature and show him how deeply he hurt you. Don't give him that chance

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  • you have moved on...just block him...dont let him get to you...one day you will forget him more.

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