Do you look at past relationships when dating a guy/girl?

Curious to know if it justified to look at past relationships...

I am dating a girl but I don't really feel like she likes me that much. By the way I use "dating" in a sense of the pre-stages to a relationship, nothing official just dating but we have been friends for 4 years now and dating 3 weeks or so.

However, my main concern is just through conversation I know quite a bit of her ex boyfriends, some personally others not so much, but the type of guys she has talked to in the past (recent past) is nothing like me. They are the more rough type and I'm the more chill type.

I said that to say overall I think she has been "trying" to like me more but I feel like she is trying to force it. The reason I say that is because her mother loves me and thinks her daughter should be dating me. They have gotten into arguments over that.

It apparent I like her more than she likes me but I don't want to be naive to what's really going on. Something just doesn't feel right. For example, two days ago I picked her up and the car ride conversation was really dry. In fact I always have to lead the conversation or it will just be extremely silent so this specific day I was tired of always having to lead the conversation so I decided I would endure the silence. I drove 20 minutes saying nothing and neither did she. The whole drive she entertained social media (instagram, Facebook)

So little things like that kind of makes me think.

What do you guys/girls think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • oh yes definitely. I mean, not toooo much but to a certain extent.

    it is wrong in my opinion because I think each relationship should be a fresh start and your date wouldn't want to be compared to anybody else, you know?

    yeh sometimes girls have that tendency to do it more, I know this might be irrelevant but even Usher wrote a song called His Mistakes about this very issue- guys don't want to be compared to anyone else.

    in my opinion, if it don't feel right, don't do it. its that simple, we all make love so complicated for no reason. there are definitely things that do make us think but itll come down to how you weigh out the positives and negatives. whichever one outweighs the other, then you know what you need to do.

    hope this helps x =]

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What Girls Said 3

  • Literally just ask her. Whatever she says go by it. She may just be different

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    • Well she says I make small things into big things. So I wanted to start her first to see if people would think I was being petty or have a legit concern. Plus the world is not as simple as "asking" because sometimes words don't match up with actions and in that event its reasonable to ask other people how to interpret those actions... which is what I am doing :)

  • I thought everyone did.

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  • Sometimes you should trust your gut.

    A lot of times, people (male and female) will try to date someone outside of their "type" and there is less chemistry. And it doesn't just mean "growing tired of bad boys" or that junk. There are lots of different kids of people in the world other than stereotypical nice guys and bad boys. Also, guys do it, too. My last boyfriend and I both dated against type and it was difficult. It didn't work out, but for other reasons.

    However, if you really want to try to make it work with a new kind of person, that means you shouldn't be cold or aloof. I don't think you should shy away form dating someone whose type is different than you, but if they treat you like you aren't there, you deserve better. That being said, if she only acts like that in the car, maybe she doesn't like being in the car or something.

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    • Well in general she hardly ever leads conversations. When we go out she is always on social media doing something

    • That sound boring for you, frankly.

What Guys Said 4

  • She's probably more used to social media then face to face conversation. Try messaging her through Facebook and see if she responds or doesn't respond.

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    • well yes she will respond but that doesn't help. When we are together I feel awkward when she just on her phone and I am starring around

  • I think you need to kick this hoe out of your car, and find a woman that values you.

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    • Sometimes I feel like that too :/. But she's my baybe lol

  • Who doesn't?

    It's only prudent.

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  • some girls change "their type" after they had enough bad experience with "bad guys" and "a**holes", others don't.

    unfortunately, I don't know if the girl your dating is one of them.

    her extensive use of the smartphone while you were driving doesn't have to be an indicator, but it's extremely annoying and I hate it if my girlfriend does that too.

    if she uses her smartphone during the next date while you are not driving, you should start to communicate with her over Facebook chat.

    maybe she will get the point. ;-)

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    • I just felt like she was more focused on what was going on on social media than conversing with me.. you know? But nothing I should complain about huh? And it wasn't really a date we where just driving to her house

    • don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't complain about it, and just because it wasn't really a date doesn't excuse anything. I consider her behavior as rude.

      it's just you can't always tell if she likes you or not just because she did this.

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