Should the man ALWAYS pay for dates?

The accepted social norm is that man should always pay for dates. But should this be followed even if the woman is significantly richer than the man?

P.S. I think this is probably a hypothetical question, because hardly any woman would be willing to date a man of lower financial status than her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • No. You should split at first and then, if the relationship continues, the other person should start contributing. If you make about the same, it should be about even. If one person makes more, they often pay more. If the couple is doing something that one partner really wants to do, but the other doesn't -- the person who wants to do it should pay.

    However, make sure that since guys do most of the asking, you should pick something affordable and not try to impress her with a fancy date that she didn't get to influence the location of. A third bit of information that girls sometimes try to get guys they aren't really attracted to to "grow on them," whereas guys generally date out of immediate sexual attraction. We have less incentive on early dates, sometimes. Paying a lot to hang out with someone you aren't that keen on can make you even less likely to want to get to know him. Grabbing a beer or coffee or a cheap meal are better for the first few dates.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's easy enough to read how a woman thinks about this on the first date. 1) If she makes no effort to even voice an offer to pay, she always expects men to pay for everything all the time. 2) If she voices that she'll go dutch or she'll cover this, but makes no effort to dig in her purse to find her wallet, then she is just acting to give you the impression she doesn't expect the man to pay all the time, but she really does expect a man to pay all the time. 3) If she admittedly fights to pay her share and insists on it, pulls out her wallet, etc. then she actually expects you to go dutch with her, but not let her pay the entire thing...

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What Girls Said 9

  • ugghhh nooo I hate it when girls think this lol!

    i really think that it should be bout BOTH give and take from both people, BOTH should do their bit and contribute to the relationship. if I wanna treat my man ill do it,i don't give a sh*t what the 'accepted social norm' is. to hell with the social norm haha:P

    to your P.S:P I would do it anyway. yeh...whuuttt? :P

  • I don't like it if the guy pays all the time. We're emancipated now. The only place where I expect a bit male dominance is in the bedroom. Outside I believe it's bullsh*t. Granted, gentlemanly behavior like opening doors, or pulling out your chair, is so rare these days that it becomes sweet and attractive. But I don't like the guy paying all the time. If there's chemistry on the first date, I'd appreciate him taking the bill, although I always offer to go dutch and always dig my purse. And if he does take the bill, I'd insist on paying for the next thing we do and won't take no for an answer. I think the "societal norms" are unfair to the guy. Even if I know he earns significantly more than me, I'd always want to contribute my half.

  • It depends how much money he has. If he was rich I'd expect him to pay.

  • No I don't think a man should always pay for the date. If it's the first date and he offers to pay that's sweet, but I would always offer to pay half. Any other times it should be shared, not just the man paying.

  • Me = ALWAYS INSIST on paying for myself
    The men "I" date, HATE this.
    Arguments occur

More from Girls

What Guys Said 4

  • To be honest this fluctuates so sharply in real life it's not easy to even keep tabs on. I just agree on a payment method before we even go.

  • The social norm is to give the women of today handouts. That's all they really want.

  • you pay for the date, she pays you back with sex.