I am currently dating a guy that is a nerd basically. We are a bit long distance and we have been talking for a month now through Skype and messaging. I'm considered a pretty girl and have never had trouble with boys; yet, somehow my flirtatious ways and tricks don't work on him like it does with other guys. I find myself getting nervous around him because he is cute and intelligent. I also think I get nervous because I'm afraid I'll say something dumb around him and then look stupid. Any tips on dating a nerdy guy if you haven't before?
Most Helpful Guy
He's a guy. That's all you really need to know. He's just a guy. Sure, maybe he's a really smart guy, but still a guy. You don't have to worry too hard about looking stupid, I'm sure. Besides, what exactly do you think you're going to do or say that will be conceived as stupid? That you don't know about something? That's just simple ignorance. That's not so bad. You can always say you don't know, and then ask him about it. Or, you could always try to learn about the things you're worried about not knowing.
Still, even then, I don't think you not knowing things is going to be such a huge dent in your relationship. Just be yourself. If he liked you before, for who you were, then I imagine had an idea of who you were, and is OK with it. I know I've dated some pretty dumb girls (If I am being honest) and I never minded much, really. I thought they were good people, and they were nice, and good to me, and were at least interested in what I had to say, and actually asked questions, listened when I answered and payed attention! That, actually was great.
Now, I am also not calling you stupid. I don't know you. You're probably smarter than you realize, or at least smarter than you're letting on, or maybe in different ways than him, and don't even acknowledge. I'm not even saying being stupid, dumb or ignorant is what guys want in a girl (although I imagine there are exceptions) but I will say that if your heart is in the right place, you treat him well, and genuinely put in a real effort to show interest, I think that will make up for a lot, where intelligence might lack.
Still, at the end of the day, he's just a guy. Treat him like you would any other guy, and treat him well. Show interest. Ask questions. Listen. Be honest. Sure, your flirtation and "tricks" might not have an effect, but if anything this whole situation should teach you that you're clearly far too dependent on those tricks, anyway. Perhaps it's time to be the real you.
Good luck with this guy.5