How much disclosure is too much?

I've been seeing a guy for a month and we've only been on 4 dates, but we spent a lot of time together on each date (5-6 hours). We last hung out a week ago, and since then, his texting behavior has changed. Before, he was texting me almost daily and we were checking in with each other frequently. In the past week, he hasn't initiated contact, it took him a little longer to respond to my text (which he apologized for) and there is one text where I just told him I was thinking about him that he has not yet responded to.

Since his behavior changed, I realized how much I miss his texts and my feelings for him have actually gotten stronger. He has shared a lot of intimate details but I have not done the same.

I know I have to open up my feelings a little bit, but I think it's going to have to be over text because I'm not sure he's going to make plans to see me right now. I want to tell him that I like him, that I'm not always the most open person and I really did enjoy the time we've spent together. I love the way he nuzzles his forehead up against my chin, and I just want to support him like he had started to do for me. I’m not sure I was as nurturing as I should have been when he had a bad day.

What can I say over text that is just enough to engage him again, but not too much to scare him away?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He doesn't seem like the shy type who would be easily scared away. This is not to say that you should tell him everything at once but I think you can afford to go further than you. Perhaps one way to start is to tell him how much you appreciate how he has opened up to you and that you feel you haven't been open enough with him and you would like to be more open.

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What Guys Said 1

  • "Hello. How are you?"

    By the way it's been a month, you're fine, you're kind of asking why you haven't been maritally supportive after a mere 4 days. Some people are just open books; you're not required to reciprocate at such a rate. You can if you want but I'd keep it centered on how you feel about him if I were you.

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    • Thanks. I did tell him I was thinking of him and hoped he was having fun, but he didn't respond to that. That's why I think I'm gong to have to send a text opening up a little bit, and if I don't hear anything, then there is my answer.

    • That is true.

What Girls Said 1

  • Send him a cute text saying "miss you :)" then I think that will open up communication and you can go from there. Good luck!

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    • I sort of did that. On Saturday I text him that I was thinking of him and said I hope he was having fun, but he hasn't responded.

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