How do I deal with this amount of rejection from guys?

I DON'T THINK A GIRL HAS EVER BEEN REJECTED LIKE THIS AS MUCH AS I HAVE! I'm 23 never even kissed! I was basically "in love" with this guy from university=nothing happended butstaring I've been on like 5 dates all first dates with different guys from online and they all rejected me one way or another. Some were nicer about it and some were just very mean. I won't go into details too much to type out but these days were through the course of one year and I deleted my account now a total of 3 times online.

I closed my last account a few months ago but still ended up texting a guy for the last couple months. Let's call him Aaron. He seems nice, funny and I totally lowered my standards because he doesn't seem as ambitious he's almost in his 30's and now enrolled in university to get his sh*t together. He wanted to meet up a lot when we talked for the first month or so but I kept saying I was busy which I was but basically I was too scared to go on a date because of how mean the last guy was to me. Finally I'm ready to meet this guy. Last week we finally added each other on Facebook. He seems like a hot party kind of guy and I'm not. I'm pretty much inactive on Facebook but I don't look anti-social or anything I have random tags with friends in pics and posts. I told him I'm not really active anyway. Since that happened he's stopped talking to me really. I'm the first one to text him, its just not the same tone as before. His responses used to be instant and now there's like an 6 hr delay and I know he's using his phone because on whatapp he's online frequently. The times I did text him first he would always reply "Hey beautiful/gorgeous" but now he just just says "hey what's happening?" or something like that. Then I met another guy in person last week on the train home at night. He was a bit intoxicated but we talked for a bit a guy in real life actually asked me out lol Anyway we tried coordinating plans and he is saying the place I'm saying to meet is too for away for him like 25 min or more. I'm like I don't have away to go further right now. He said he'll message me after a certain time today and he never got back to me. I seriously feel very hopeless. I've put myself out there, I'm always groomed and casual nice dressed when I go out, read articles/YouTubed about dating/flirting I'm a good hearted person and I honestly really deserve a break. Currently, I'm working on loosing 20 lbs (I'm a little overweight) but I'm tall so its proportionate. I'm working on my career as I recently graduated and I need to focus on finding a good job and then going on to eventually do my masters. I don't know what hell to do. I've put myself out there, been to a gazillion parities and student group involvement throughout school. I've done online...and everything to maybe meet someone as before when I didn't do anything I never went ona date (before online dating). Is finding dates or a eventual relationship just never meant to happen for me *tears*


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't give up. There are guys out there who would love to go out with you its just a matter of time before you find a good one. But don't just wait fro them to come to you. There's a huge gene pool worth of guys out there and if you only wait (Not saying you're doing this) for them to come to you, you might get stuck with meh guys.

    I advice that you keep working in your self image. You can do things like working out and doing well at work/school. If you do these things and improve your image/self esteem guys will take notice.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I think you might be putting a little too much thought into it, sometimes you just have to let things happen, let the chips fall where they may, and if you get a hand that might win, bet the house, but don't let yourself get overly worried about it, and remember a relationship is a team sport, you aren't responsible for all of it, he's gotta pitch in his part too. You'll get your hand one day, and you'll bet big, and you'll win it all. Stay positive and keep pushing for it.

  • maybe you smell? Or there's something else turning off these guys you've gone on first dates with. I doubt it's your weight. It may be some other sensual perception, or your personality, or the way you talk, etc.

    Some of the other guys just seem like general flakes/tools.

    • Well I shower wear deordant etc. and I have friends and stuff so I don't think its because something is wrong with me socially. But the guy I've never met he randomly gets turned off after we exchange fb details and add each other, doesn't make sense. Maybe he say more pics of me than before and realized he wasn't attracted. But I had sent him recent pics so I don't get it.

    • Show All
    • skype?

  • I don't know..Get a cat.


What Girls Said 2

  • It seems like its a confidence thing. You clearly have a lot going for you, but seems like your letting past experiences affect you.
    The guy you mention who you where texting and seemed keen to meet you - after a month of no actual face to face meet up he moved on, the feelings he did have faded and that's not your fault you weren't ready but you can't blame him for that either. Its just bad timing.

    The only advice I can give you is to try and be happy within yourself. Maybe think less about getting a boyfriend and more about getting some friends male and female. Mixed group of friends - the impression you give is that you've been on a little bit of a man hunt and a lot of guys find that off putting. It implies low self confidence, which I don't think is right. But if you have a mixed group of friends - it gives you a support net work. People to go out with and spend time with but also with guy friends it gives you an opportunity to relax a little around men, can practice talking to them without feeling awkward and, eventually, you can ask to be set up.

    • yeah I do have guy and girlfriends but more gfs than guy friends. A lot more guy friends than I used to I used to have trouble talking to guys 2 years ago and now its normal for me I can laugh/talk etc.

      But I guess I just can't attract guys and really have to learn how to live life and accept that, because I've tried my hardest and not tried nothing happens for me.

  • Everyone is destined to be with someone.

    Don't worry, it will come someday c:

    • But don't just wait for it. If you wait forever for a guy to come to you the pool of guys will be rather small.