Is he a player or am I overanalysing?

I was in the university library, studying one day and this guy sat opposite me, facing me. We were both studying and I was watching a comedy video which made me laugh. We did make eye contact and smile at each other. As it was a comedy show, I was trying my best to hold in my laughter and he could see me turning red, which made him chuckle and smile at me. For the whole of two hours, we sat there, opposite each other, not saying a word, except I could tell he was looking at me and he could tell I was looking at him too. After that, he stood up and packed his things and left. Before that, we made eye contact again, smiled and nodded.

An hour later, he came back and sat exactly opposite me again. The same thing happened. We started smiling and we couldn't concentrate on studying. I could tell he was smiling at me and looking at me and he could tell that I was sneaking a peek at him too. It reminded me of one of those little cute stories. I think he could tell I was texting my friend about him and I was certain he was talking to his friend about me through text. Anyway, I had to leave so I packed my things and stood up. Just as I was about to leave, I looked at him and smiled and he passed me a note. On the note, he gave me his number and wrote 'if you're interested' on there. I texted him about 15 min after I walked out of the library. We chatted for one day but didn't say much because I had work and he had an exam to study for.

Anyway, it's been a day or two since I last replied but I texted him today to ask him how he's been. Now it's been 12 hours since that text and two days since I last heard from him. Do you think that he's playing a game with me or do you think his phone is genuinely stuffed or a good reason? And does him giving his phone number to me, necessarily bad?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think guys get really excited at the idea of having a girl interested in them, and getting her number. He probably thought you (correctly) might be interested, and thought you were attractive enough to pass his number to. It was probably a huge ego boost, and piqued his curiosity, that you actually responded. Now, he's probably figuring out if he has any real interest in you or not. That doesn't make him a "player".

    Many of us women, when we are attracted to a guy, tend to obsess over whether or not the guy "likes" us. We also don't want to look stupid, or feel gullible, so this becomes an attempt to have some control over the situation. In this situation I think it's too soon to know, or care, why he's not responding. You obviously liked him enough to contact him, and now he knows. I think that's a good thing. If you still interest him, he will respond, and you'll have your answer. If he decides he's no longer interested, and never responds, just shrug and move on. You don't have to feel "played".

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What Guys Said 14

  • not enough evidence to say he's a player. I think you are overanalyzing a bit here. give it a little time.

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  • It's a little early to start analyzing the situation. He's just a guy you met in the library and that's all there is to it.

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  • I think he's holding back because he thinks you're supposed to.

    Whether he's a veteran player or someone just trying not to screw things up, who knows.

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  • If I were him I would just think you were a girl I met in the library. I would just have fun with it. I wouldn't be thinking about a long term relationship quite yet.

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  • He was trying to get in your head and to stay there.

    It seems to me he did pretty well at it.

    But since he did all the approach work and you replied to him, wait for him to reply again.

    Regarding the player thing, I would just say he looks pretty confident for a genuine guy. So keep your guard up.

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  • Or maybe he died in a car crash. You have no idea what might or might not be going on in his life just try not to fret about it, and trust me I'm bad at that too.

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  • Why would you think he's a player?

    Its a good thing, and don't sweat the small stuff. He will probably get back to you. Also, texting is not a good idea for someone you don't know well yet. Most communication is voice tone and body language, so you should at least call instead.

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  • I think maybe he's just trying to not be available, so to speak. Trying to make you think about him.

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  • He's probably not replying, to get your attention even more.

    I know some guys that do this.

    Its either that or its the wrong number.

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  • lol this really sound like a story however the guy doesn't seem bad by the way guys don't text much to each other about girls :x oh and you said yourself he had an exam so he could be busy studying owo

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  • 15 min.?! calm down

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  • I would think that I've hit the billion dollar jackpot!

    Getting a text from a girl I've never spoken to just fifteen minutes after her getting my number and then she's the one that initiate texts!

    He!, I would be assuming I would be f**king her doggy style before the end of the week

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    • I'm actually being extremely serious - I totally agree with laceyz565; I would be pencilling in my calendar a two or three hour long sex session with the girl on Friday night.

      I would think she was really desperate for sex and that I could do just about anything to her;

  • I think he is a player and I would avoid him

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  • so you were watching comedy shows when you should've been studying? I'm sure you're going to ace that test.

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    • i was actually taking a break from studying. thank you very much.

    • oh well in that case I'd say you're over analyzing. here's way; if he was a player he would've been confident enough and had enough balls to talk to you rather than pass you a note.

      idk what his deal is but I doubt he's a player.

What Girls Said 13

  • I think you texted him too soon. By texting him 15 minutes later would make him think your desperate for him. Its too late now but I think you should chill out with the texting. You don't know each other at least try to play a little hard to get so he doesn't think it would be easy to get in your pants

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  • Hmm, wow, all I can say is I know how you're feeling! It drives me mad when a guy I like doesn't text me back right away, because I know, as a girl and as a person whose interested would text back right away :) but maybe he is genuinely busy but he can't be that busy. If he doesn't respond to your texts in like a couple of days then maybe something came up.

    Try not to over analyze. Us girls do that best. Maybe he's hanging out with his buddies, maybe he's working, maybe things are popping up in his life. Apparently he was interested or else he wouldn't of flirted or given you his number so maybe wait.

    Practice patience. :) If he doesn't text you back it's his loss but if he does then you can now realize tha tyou were over worrying lol

    Text him like once more and say Hi and after that wait until he texts you

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  • Either it was 1) because you never replied, and he was insecure about that. 2) He saw your text so he probably is trying to play hard to get or he's trying to make you wait because you did something like not text him back.

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  • Just wait and time will show - he can be busy at work/ school. Though in general if a person is interested he/ she will find time to reply.

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  • o.O

    I think you're overanalyzing it.

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  • i don't get it, he gave you his number but it's been 2 days since you last heard from him...ditch the guy. he's obviously jz fooling around...

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  • He doesn't sound like a player, he seems busy, just busy your self with other things and relax about the whole situation. If its meant to be it will be just go with the flow.

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  • i don't think he's a player.. some guys are just horrible texters. wait for him to text you. sounds like he was into you, I'm sure he will.

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  • I'm sure that he is very busy and doesn't have a lot of time on his hand. Give him sometime to get back to you.

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  • U need to chill your obsessing maybe he's busy

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  • Just whatever you do, don't text him anymore. Let him make a move. If he's interested..you'll know it.

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  • Give him some time! :) That's adorable

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  • you are over analyzing things

    just go with the flow you don't want to give the impression that you are needy.

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