How do you feel about that? Do you think they view you as a piece of meat? Do you think they like you for who you are, or is their fetish doin all the talkin? :D
Admittedly I'm pretty bias here. I have a bit of a fetish for a particular race.. but I still wouldn't date her unless she was what I look for in a girl. But girls who had a fetish for mine, I just feel like a piece of meat lol. :\ This girl once told me how she loves BBC and it totally turned me off lmao. -__-
How have your situations been? :D
Most Helpful Girl
mmmm. Like, yeah. This is a real, actual problem. I mean, I think it's okay *in theory* to a have a fetish for a particular race. You can have a fetish for anything, my mentor knows a guy who has a fetish for red shoes. Not like, a woman wearing red shoes, just red shoes. He'll be walking down the street and see a pair of red shoes and just go 'hnnnnnghhhhh'
But. What is it that arouses them about that race? It's not easy to enter into that without treading on that territory of (the little-used expression) 'race essentialism'. What is that? I'll hoke out a definition, 'cos it's difficult... "The essentialist view on... race, ethnicity, or other group characteristics is that they are fixed traits, discounting variation among group members as secondary." Basically, it's the belief that all members of a particular race have certain traits, and nobody without those traits can qualify. In gender essentialism, which I feel the brunt of, its usually weaponized against trans folk: "real women have wombs!", which of course is outright not true and doesn't include a good deal of women. The effect is to discount the womanhood of a particular group of women - transwomen and women without wombs - and make them 'not women'.
With race it functions differently; you'll know well better than I do that people make sweeping genralisations about people of color, the most infamous being that black guys have big cocks. This is usually called 'generalising' but that's too weak for me! No, this is not just some venial sin someone has done, to generalise you. And they can simply say, 'well, obviously not ALL black guys...' No! This is a deeply rooted attitude, this is a part of western culture that goes all the way back to Plato, this is an ideological weapon of Imperialism! It is essentialism, racial essentialism. That is a sufficiently strong term, to me. So they say all black guys have big black cocks: why is this harmful? one might ask - surely you're lucky! Everyone thinks you're hung! It discounts the experience of small-penised black men, makes them inferior, denies their racial status, denies them their identity. They are no longer black but always in that shadow of 'well, not ALL black guys.' It's an incredibly harmful thing.
This goes to certain, more hysterical extents. For example, Balkan women are stereotyped as submissive, traditional... Slavoj Zizek makes the joke, standing on the bridge between a Balkan town and a non-Balkan town, that 'on this side the women are beaten, and raped, and they like it, and on this side they are beaten, and raped, and they don't like it.' [snicker] It's harmful because it denies their freedom to explore non-traditional gender roles, etc., without being called 'westernised' or having their Balkan ethnicity compromised. This is especially harmful since the majority of Balkan women are communist!
Anyway. I've never met anyone with a white girl fetish lmao.3
- Show AllShow Less