It seems so easy for other people to date, but I feel depressed about my dating life. Advice?

Okay, so I don't want to sound like a whiny little beta, but recently it's dawned on me that I'm 25 and my dating life sucks. I haven't been on a date for years, I haven't had sex for 2 years, and life in general sucks because of this.

I see other guys who are younger (and sometimes older) who are able to date, yet I never am able to. I guess I keep putting barriers up and being insecure about things.

It's little things like "my job isn't great, will she care" or just stupid things that I shouldn't use as excuses. A couple of weeks ago when It was lovely and warm, I had 3 girls walking past me in the street who gave me strong eye contact in the space of 2 days.

One of the girls actually smiled at me for goodness sake, yet I too slow to approach and kept walking. then another girl walked past me and gave me eye contact, yet again, I didn't follow it up. Actually, another 2 as well who gave me strong eye contact, yet I just didn't have the balls to approach.

It really grates on me. I could have possibly got 3-4 dates or at least numbers there, but I was too chicken to approach and say a simple "hi, what's your name?" It really irritates me how ridiculously dumb I am around women. Oh, not to mention a girl in the shoe shop who pretty much said she wanted to make new friends, yet I never thought to get her number or invite her out.

Not to mention, 5/6 years ago I was going out and girls were always paying me attention, yet still I never anything with 99% of these girls. The only time I ever got laid was because of pure luck and the girls initiating on their part.

I really beat myself up for all the missed opportunities in my past and recently.

Any advice? girls, guy, it doesn't matter, as long as you have good advice.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you might have some dating anxiety. A lot of people struggle with anxiety in some aspect of their lives. May I suggest trying some positive thinking. Here is a basic guide. You can find more at other places online/in books: link

    It may sound stupid, but I am learning how much your thinking really does determine your behavior and even feelings. I have more severe anxiety issues that I'm working on personally, but it sounds a lot like changing how you talk to yourself could help you.

    Also, stop beating yourself up and start making changes. Otherwise you just feel worse about yourself.

    Best wishes!


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 6

  • Get over the insecurity. Get over the fear of rejection. That's your only options.

  • If women don't like you there is very little you can do. Everyone here will tell you that if you just talk to them, be confident, go to the gym and buy some new clothes you'll have endless options. This is a lie. If women don't like you the best solution is to just ignore them and get on with your life.

    If the lack of sex is bothering you I'd suggest just paying for it.

  • Well how did you end up in those relationships with girls in the past? Do what you did to attract them in order to get a new girlfriend

  • Girls are lazy and don't have courage so they won't approach you.

    It sounds like you aren't approaching women.

    That is the problem. No woman is going to do the work for you. You do it or it's not gonna happen.

  • just enjoy life it's actually harder than you think. I am enjoying being single right just gaved up. so don't bother with it.

  • Was like you an year ago and just chatting up people I'm interested has helped gained my confidence in dating. The whole "not expecting anything to happen" and "just another human being" mentality really helped me get over the fear of rejection, embarrassment, disappointment...etc. Also meditate before you go out! I have social anxiety and meditating really chill things down alot.

    Another helpful tip:

    It's okay to tell the girl you're on a date with if you feel nervous during a conversation. In fact, I have saved myself on several occasions for being up front and admitting it... + points for being honest.