Dating for the first time again....

I'm 28, got out of a serious relationship a year ago and finally have decided to start dating. WOW, I'm out of the loop! I am considered a very attractive guy and I am definitely outgoing so getting numbers and setting dates are not the problem, its the actual date itself.

I think I may come across as : too eager, or have been too honest...trying to hard to make a conversation.i guess because I don't know what to expect, do or say. Probably because I am LOOKING for a relationship.

what do I do? suggestions?

Updates:
btw, I got GREAT at being single and "picking up" at bars etc...but that's not what I am looking for now, id like a meaningful relationship...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can feel your agony sir. I too am in this situation, I'm just not ready to date anyone yet, due to my commitments to furthering my education, bettering my employment. I would say I don't think you can ever be too honest with anyone. Some would disagree, but I've always slept soundly because of that very principle. Aside from that, dating is very...awkward to say the least sometimes. What has helped me in the past was a new found belief in the success of being non-conventional. What that means is, try activities that your certain both have never done. Something very unique and abstract. Something a date partner has always wanted to do, but has always overlooked. I have tried this and from what I gather, everyon had fun. They came back for a second date, so I guess I was doing something right. Skip the movie, skip the dinner, make her go paintballling on a belly full of ham and cheese sandwhich! nothing says first date fun like a few paint covered welts and bruises on the skin and a bag of doritos...I hope this helps. - j p.s. You would be suprised how many chicks love to shoot others with paint ball guns...It's such a weird transition to watch before your very eyes.

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What Girls Said 2

  • this is normal...you're just used to the ease and honesty in a serious relationship.

    on a date, ask questions about the girl. remember that you might not see her again, you know? don't share anything that isn't a need-to-know (i.e. anything about past relationships, medical history, political and religious views, want for a family/relationship). I'm sure you know this, but try to keep the mood light.

    maybe you're going to the wrong places for a first date? instead of going somewhere like a nice restaurant (read: quiet-serious; serious surroundings-serious conversation), try something more laid-back like going mini-golfing then to a local cafe, maybe a drive-in movie...summer makes dating a lot easier, so good luck!

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    • Great suggestions - I know this sounds corny but - be yourself - just relax and be you and if she likes you, it will continue and for the right reasons - sometimes relationships take time. Don't be in one just for the sake of being in one

  • im in the same boat...i was married for 4 years...and I def. have lost touch with all the dating stuff...and I'm way too honest :) I think its a good thing and I'm sure you will find someone who appreciates it...

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What Guys Said 1

  • I've been in a similar situation, so I sympathize.

    brightlywound12 was correct: keep it light and fun. not too personal, not too heavy or confessional, not so desperate to impress.

    think of a first date like a job interview. show your best side, be upbeat, positive, sell yourself ... but not a kiss-ass. like a job interview, you want the attitude that you'll do the job well, but you can also live without it because there are other options in your life...

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