On a scale of one - 5, how much of a "good deal" are you in the dating world?

So basically what I'm asking is, how good of a catch do you see yourself as in the dating world. Now this question EXCLUDES looks. We are going to base how good a catch you are based on the following criteria

1) Your ability to listen to your partner

2) Your ability to compromise with your partner

3) Your ability to understand/empathize with the common issues that affect your partners gender

4) Your ability to show unconditional love

5) Your ability to be engaging

  • I'm a 1
    5% (3)7% (4)6% (7)Vote
  • I'm a 2
    5% (3)11% (6)7% (9)Vote
  • I'm a 3
    39% (25)16% (9)28% (34)Vote
  • I'm a 4
    30% (19)39% (22)34% (41)Vote
  • I'm a 5
    21% (14)27% (16)25% (30)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Sorry I forgot to add. one = I'm a horrible catch. 5 = I'm an excellent catch

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm too modest to comment, though I will say that in my home state, if a guy is rich, good-looking and highly personable, he's simply referred to as a "Palek"

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What Girls Said 19

  • 1) I'm good at listening and being there for someone.

    2) There are some things I draw a hard line on, but in general I can find and agree to compromises we're both comfortable with. I try to be open-minded and flexible.

    3) I empathize with people well, and I'm aware of issues that both genders face.

    4) I don't know about 'unconditional' love (I think there are limits to what someone can/should take), but it's not difficult for me to express my love for someone if I feel it. I'm pretty affectionate, accepting, and forgiving (in regard to most things at least).

    5) I think I'm fairly engaging, but it does depend on who I'm talking to and what their tastes are as well.

    Overall, I say 3-4 based on that criteria. :) There are other things (not including looks), like I'm patient, slow to anger, rational, smart, adventurous, I have goals and passions, etc.

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  • 1) I'm a good listener. I'm pretty ditzy, but I pay attention when it matters.

    2) Here's my strong point. I'm am idealist, so I'm always looking to make win-win situations.

    3) I'm extremely empathetic, so this is a yes.

    4) I don't love every person I date, obviously, but when I do love someone it is unconditional.

    5) Engaging in what way? Confident, funny, social? I am all of those things, but I'm still an introvert and I need down time in between social events.

    I'd say I'm a 4-5. And I even consider myself attractive. ;D

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  • For the things you listed I would give myself a four or five. I am big on listening and communicating and I'm naturally an empathetic person. I have no doubts I can show unconditional love and loyalty, sometimes being so loyal has screwed me over.

    However number five, my ability to be engaging, I'd like to think I am and could be. This really depends on who the other person is though. I might be to someone but not one bit to someone else lmao.

    Outside of your criteria I don't think I'm that great of a catch because I am human therefore I am flawed and I know I can be too much to handle sometimes. I'm grateful my fiance puts up with me lol.

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  • 10.

    I hope I don't sound arrogant, but I have a lot to contribute, despite my flaws.

    1.) Not only do I listen, but I make an extra effort to remember important things and be careful about the way I respond to things if it's a touchy topic.

    2.) I love compromising, I think compromising is fun because usually the end result is better than what you had in mind on your own.

    3.) This is one of my strengths. I'm always playing free therapist.

    4.) I love making my SO feel absolutely, completely loved and cherished.

    5.) I think I'm pretty engaging however sometimes I close off and may seem anti-engaging

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  • I think I'm a 3 or 4.

    1. I'm a listener all the way. Especially if I'm really comfortable with a person.

    2. I don't really like to compromise. I always try to find a middle way. If I'm compromising, he has to compromise too.

    3. I think I'm pretty empathetic.

    4. Oh I have been there. And I wasn't even with the guy, but I loved him so much, for about 10 years. I didn't care whether he likes me back ro not, I just wanted him to be happy, even if it's not with me.

    5. I don't know what you mean with engaging. I can't entertain, but I can engage in a conversation...

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  • I do anything they want for the most part, make em feel super special, cook whatever they want, deala with whatever comes up, work out issues, and give it up on command. So a 5 it is.

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  • I'm about a 3. I'm emotionally distant - I can't really help it, just the way I am. I don't like talking about my feelings or any of that stuff. That being said, I'm reasonable, thoughtful and I'm a wicked listener. I'd better suit a guy who is more chilled out and down-to-Earth, who wants someone to have fun with, rather than someone who needs a lot of emotional support and stuff.

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  • Emotionally? Five being the highest? I'm a 5.

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  • I voted B I'm not really the one to date all that much I just wanna pic a guy friend (which I already have) and date them for awhile. And When I say awhile its like 2+years

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  • 1. I can listen for half an hour, but then I zone out.

    2. I compromise a lot, most of it comes from my side.

    3. I try to understand and ask question to be able to do so.

    4. I can't love anyone unconditionally. If they treat me like dirt, they will get the same treatment. Another consequence is an ejection from my life.

    5. I can engage only in conversations that genuinely interest me. I'm not a good actress.

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  • Would be five but sometimes I love too much and become smothering even though my intentions are good. So I say four. I am improving though.

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  • I don't know. 1? xD

    I listen but I forget sometimes

    Compromise? I dunno. I don't really have to.

    Common issues like what?

    Well. I do love him no matter what.

    I'm just not engaging. Nope. Not at all.

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  • i voted 4 I'm a pretty chill person in general, I'm easy to get along with very understanding and loving the only problem compromise..not very good at that, I do like things to go my way which is probably a pain sometime

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  • I will say 4

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  • I'll be perfectly honest about myself. I'm a 3 I'd say based on your criteria

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  • I wrote a 3. I could be a 2 at times, and of course at times a 1

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  • Maybe 3-4.

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  • 3.5/5 excluding looks. Based on looks alone I am a 1/5.

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  • 1. Yes

    2. Yes

    3.Of course

    4.Hell yeah

    5.Sometimes.

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What Guys Said 21

  • I'm about a 3 or a 4.

    1) I'm a very good conversationalist, so I can talk for hours and actually pay attention to people when they talk.

    2) I tend to be very easy going, so for the most part, I can bend some of my usual rules for my girlfriend as long as its only for awhile or she does the same for me.

    3) I've always been around girls since I can remember, I was always aware of people's emotions but especially the girls even to this current day, So I can be very sympathetic as well.

    4)Whether its affection or emotional support, I try my best to be as loving as I can for her, whether its being sweet or just holding her, I can do that.

    5) I don't know what you mean by engaging , but if you mean by being a leader in the relationship or showing confidence, then yeah that can be me too, just not cocky.

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  • 1) I'd say I'm a great listener... unless the speaker is trying to give me advice.

    2) Depends entirely on the issue, I can be very stubborn on certain things but generally I'm open to compromise.

    3) I really fall down here. From my perspective dating as a female is playing on easy mode. I can recognise some issues (huge competition for an attractive mate) but feel these are overshadowed by the sheer amount of options. As for non-dating gender empathy I'm probably nearly just as bad.

    4) Fine for this. I have always been very affectionate with previous partners.

    5) In my opinion the ability to be engaging is very dependent on appearance and if its something else then its something I don't have and cannot even detect, so that's a no.

    I'll give myself a 2/5, since I meet one of the criteria and half meet two of them.

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    • Thanks for sharing. If you haven't already, please select your choice in the poll

  • 4.

    The unconditional love I don't believe in.

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  • Eh... I don't think I rate very high.. I'm good at compromising but I'm not always the best listener. I'm understanding and would always be dedicated. I guess overall a 2-3?

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  • i really do enjoy making my partner feel special and I'm pretty good at everything but 4 and I'm a bit shaky on 5. I'm an introvert so I won't be engaging all the time and I'm just not very good at showing my love because I am so inward.

    What would you rate me as?

    ( ladies only please, sorry felllas tried one of you and its not my bag)

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  • I was gonna rate myself a one, but goodness, this criteria of yours has me landing a smooth 5.

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  • Idk, around a 5? I'm a pretty swell guy... ;)

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  • I'm a 1. I don't really ask women out...or talk to them. I'm just living life, if a woman comes in it that is fine. If not, that's fine as well.

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  • 27% of the population is not a 5. People are overrating themselves.

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  • Who says those criteria are the most valuable commodities of a potential partner?

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    • they are just sign posts. As long as people understand that the question is focused more on inner qualities, I don't really mind how they choose to define "a good catch"

    • Well, I'm sure I rub the wrong people the wrong way at times, but I think far more women that meet me think very highly of me, then those that think poorly of me. Even the girls I've have it out with (who have some serious personality issues themselves) and girls that have tried their hardest to destroy me, bounced back and stuck to me like a magnet after a period of time. *smh* I'd say I'm quite the catch, especially when I see girls totally enamored over me when they've just scraped the surfac

  • Pfft, I'm the best ever :P

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  • 1, lol. What a horrible partner I'd make for any woman.

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  • 5

    4

    5

    5

    4

    I would guess I would be about that

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  • 3-4.

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  • 1) I'm pretty good at this.

    2) Also pretty good at doing this.

    3) I'm adequate at this, not great but not bad.

    4) I don't believe in unconditional love because their qualities and actions will always play a factor. I can not and will not ever love someone that is a rapist or a murderer. Since unconditional love means to love someone regardless of their qualities or actions, I can't get behind loving someone unconditionally.There may be some people that I can look past their actions/qualities since their actions/qualities aren't all that bad, but there is always going to be a certain action that a person can take that will rip away any love for said person. At least in my own point of view. If I had "unconditional love" for a girl and she hasn't done anything bad, then at this point it won't look so bad. However, if she commits an act of murder or rapes someone or does some sort of heinous crime (whether legally or morally) then I will lose any love that I have for that person. Thus making my love conditional.

    5) I'm adequate at this as well.

    Overall, I'd say a 3.5-4. I'll put four in the poll.

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  • im not good looking so whatever qualities I have don't matter

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  • no one's a 5 because we all have flaws

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  • I don't consider myself to be a good catch regardless of criteria. Therefore I'm rating myself at 0.

    1) I'm not too interested in listening to her, I have my own problems and I'm not about to share it with her if it is business or work related. Anything else I solve it first and if I needed advice I ask professionals.

    2) Compromise? I never compromise. My way or the highway.

    3) I tend to believe most problems are your own damn fault, therefore you only have yourself to blame. Got a bad boyfriend? Well it's your own damn fault for not opening your eyes to see his flaws.

    4) Unconditional love? I don't believe there is such a thing.

    5) This I can be, though I'm not always in the mood to be all that engaging.

    Though currently have a girlfriend, I'm just as happy being single and have no intention of ever getting married or settling down. The moment a girl talks about wanting to marry or settle down, I normally show her the door.

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  • I think I'm a 3 or a 4. If I'm very sure about something which is against what someone else is saying, there are times when I lack listening. I'm 100% sure in what I'm saying, and that's final. That happens sometimes.

    I can compromise pretty well as long as we each agree on it.

    Affect my partners gender. What do you mean by that? Like... do I know what I should never do or say to a woman? I do read a lot of articles about relationships and sex on different sites, but it's still hard to really understand women. What makes it harder is knowing that everyone is different. So, it's really like taking a risk with everything new.

    I can definitely express my love to a woman. I focus more on the love part of a relationship than the sexual part. That doesn't mean I'm not sexual though.

    Being engaging as in being sexual? If she's comfortable and has desire, I'm ready. I don't desire BJ's like most other guys, so I never expect a girlfriend or wife to give me them everyday or every week. I'm fine without them. Since I read a lot of sexual articles and explore official sites related to sexual topics, I think I'm pretty good in the bedroom.

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  • 4. All of the above, except I'm not engaging.

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  • The question assumes that guys and girls want the same things.

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    • Not really, because the question isn't about what you want from someone else. The question is about how good you see yourself as a potential partner for someone else, based on the criteria I outlined

    • Show All
    • We can go on for a long time about this. My final comment here is that individuals can choose to answer the question (ignoring #4) as they wish, as these are just sign posts. I have a different way of viewing it, and I don't expect others to view it as I do. As long as people understand that this question is not about looks, I don't mind how they choose to determine what being a "great catch" means

    • 'Unconditional' means no conditions whatsoever. I'm not saying that you should abandon a girl as soon as times get tough for whatever reason. Of course not.

      Neither am I saying that you fall in love with a girl because of things she does for you. Indeed, as you say, you fall in love with a girl because you saw something you liked, in other words, a value, such as kindness, intelligence, maybe even looks, whatever your values are. You don't fall in love by random chance.

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