Should I date a guy even if I don't feel attracted to him?

Hi, I'm a 20 year old virgin, who has never had a boyfriend before... I've kissed only a few times in my life, dated, but never got to have a serious relationship...

When a guy asks me out (yes, it happens often) but I don't feel attracted to him I tell him to invite his friends and I invite mine so we won't be alone on a date because that makes me feel kinda awkward..(because I'm not interested)

Is there something wrong with me? Should I try going out on dates alone with guys I ''like'' but don't feel attracted to them? Or should I just wait until the right guy appears?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like your standards are too high. Likely the only guys you are attracted to are out of your league. I don't mean that as an insult. It is a common problem women have.

    If you start to develop a closer emotional bond with a guy, attraction that wasn't there before can start to form. Going out with a guy you don't have the hots for, might work out.

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    • I don't think my standards are too high, It's just that I like to have chemistry with a guy in order to date him, but maybe you're right.. maybe I could develop feelings for a guy I have good time with . Thanks :)

What Guys Said 5

  • You should wait, I mean going out with someone you aren't attracted to some would say is a good idea, In the respect of being open minded and personality searched blah blah blah. But realistically if you aren't that attracted to them it's likely to just continue in that vein. Plus when it comes to the physical side you'll definitely not be on board. It's just safer to wait it out, it can be frustrating, but altogether it's worth it. And you won't be accused of 'leading someone on'.

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    • That's exactly what I've been thinking all of this time but my friends keep telling me I should date more even if I don't feel attracted to the guy... And I wouldn't like to lead someone on :/

  • Hmm first of all, try to be only two together. I think that's important. It changes the whole atmosphere, trust me. If you don't feel comfortable with him, talk to him as like to a friend (aka. friend-zone). Or if nothing else, say that you have to go somewhere and say bye (but please try to avoid this).

    But don't be concerned about this. I'm also 20, virgin, and I haven't got too many girlfriends in my life, only 2 I guess but I'm not too concerned about it. But had several dates though. Just live as you feel like and it's nothing to be serious about. ;) ps. Also I think that non-slutty girls are more appreciated among guys.

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  • Jonny has the right idea — wait to invest your time in someone that you're certain you would like to spend time getting to know. It's both better for you and all the guys that you may meet.

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    • You have a point there. Thanks :)

  • Don't accept a date unless you like the guy. Otherwise you're wasting his time and yours. If you want to go out with your friends, that's fine, but you don't want to mislead a guy into thinking you like him when you really don't.

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    • But what if I like the guy (as a friend at least), and I have a good time with him but I don't feel physically attracted to him? Should I give it a try? Or is it still a waste of time?

  • Try being 25 and in the same boat

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