Not sure what to do anymore, need advice.

I feel like at my age, I should be settled. I have tried online dating but haven't meet anyone through there. Most of the guys either after one date never contacted me again or there just was no connection after a few dates. I am working at a job that is extremely stressful and often takes a lot of my time and financially I am having trouble paying my bills. I just feel like life should not be a struggle everyday and that at this point in my life I should have something to show for it. I have always wanted to have children but as I am getting older with no prospects now or probably in the future that also seems like its not in the cards. I feel like I am distant to be alone for the rest of my life. I been in a few relationships but never felt that they loved me as much as I loved them. It was always me that was making the effort. Just am at a lost. :-(


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm afraid you are in good company. A great many other people are in the same place. I realize that knowing that is little consolation. Being overworked at a stressful job that doesn't pay enough to cover expenses is also very common now. A great many employers figured out that they can force employees to work multiple jobs under the constant threat of layoffs. I would suggest that the two dilemmas are linked. Because people are exhausted and desperately short of time, they are forced to take unsatisfying shortcuts to try to meet people. What's more, exhausted people are not the most desirable ones to date.

    On that note, is there something you can do to reduce the time and stress you put into work? The more time, energy and peace of mind you can carve out for yourself, the easier it will be to date and the more likely you are to get someone's interest. If you lack time and energy, guys will not expect you to have the time and energy to devote to them. The opposite also holds true. Likewise for parenthood. You should find ways to prioritize time away from work so you can devote it to the children you will have later. If you can't do it now, why would it be easier later?


What Girls Said 1

  • Sorry, but I am in the same boat, only worse because I'm deeply in debt and don't have a job. I know exactly what you're saying about how life shouldn't be such a struggle.

    I've struggled with severe depression and shame that I can't seem to shake for most of my adult life and it's like being stuck in quicksand in that I never get anywhere. No job, no friends, no money. Everything for me has ended in failure. At least you have a job so you've had success in that aspect of your life and should be proud of yourself for toughing it out and working hard.