This question is for the ladies

To all the ladies who online date, is there such thing as asking for a date too soon and as a result of such action, would it be cause for you to blow him off and not want to talk to that guy again?

  • Yes.
    58% (7)62% (5)60% (12)Vote
  • No.
    42% (5)38% (3)40% (8)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • talk for a while first, make sure you connect online before you try to see whether you connect in real life. She probably would want to know first whether she enjoys her conversations with you before she wouold agree to go on a date.

    That being said, if a guy asked me out on a date in, say, the second or third message, which is too early for me, it wouldn't blow me off. I'd still talk to him. I'd probably only say that a date is sure a possibility, but let's talk for a little longer here before we meet in the real world...

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    • I understand that, but would it be a bad thing if you did meet up with him, and you and the guy didn't make a connection?

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    • Well not if there wasn't a connection. I meant, would it be a bad thing if you met the guy in person and it turned out to be a waste of a few hours?

    • not for me. As long as it wasn't horrible... I'd still enjoy the interaction or the food or coffee or whatever.. Besides, it's part of the game.

What Girls Said 12

  • I think so. And if that were the case I'd just blow him off until I think the time is appropriate. If he really rubbed me the wrong way then he wouldn't get a shot at all.

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    • Why would you blow him off instead of just communicating to him that you don't want to or your not ready yet? And by the way if its just a simple thing like meeting up at a public place like a panera bread or something, how/why does "too soon" matter all that much?

    • Blow him off by saying "I'm not ready/interested in dating right now". Sorry I didn't spell everything out. I kinda classify that as blowing some off/turning them down. And you never know--you may think meeting up at a public place like a panera bread or something is innocent but there are people who could automatically think that means more than it does. That's my personal opinion though. You asked and that's what I said.

  • I would still talk to the guy and would like that he showed interest so I wouldn't 100% blow him off. The opposite of a guy who just talks and never wants to see you is more of a problem lol

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  • For online dating, ladies are more careful since we don't know who we are dealing with. I think you should first communicate for a week prior to meeting each other in person. also make an effort to call her too so you can find out if both of you can carry a conversation.

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  • I think you should talk for a week, at least. Maybe two, but after that, attraction starts to die if you talk too often and haven't went on a date, better-known as progressing things. I think a lot of people don't realize this and kill a lot of potential relationships by letting them drag on and not taking initiative. I think your ambition is great, I just think asking too soon can kill it about as much as asking too late. Ask when it feels right and at the end of a great conversation. Totally ask her out of nowhere. Believe me, if she likes you, she'll love the surprise. Good luck. :)

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  • I don't online date. But, desperate is too soon in many instances.

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  • Yes. At least give me a chance to see if I like you before we go on a date.

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    • I understand, but wouldn't you get a better understanding of whether or not you liked him from meeting him in person? I mean its just a simple thing of meeting up with him in a public place.

  • unless she's interested in you, she would want to get to know you more first

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  • You can never ask for a date too soon.

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  • I prefer we talk for a while first before we meet. Take things slow

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  • I like to send 3-4 e-mails back and forth. Also, asking for a date on the day you're asking seems like you're just trying to hook up.

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  • I think too soon would be asking me out after just trading a few emails. I think after going back and forth at least a week and a half, is good. Any sooner and I wouldn't feel comfortable agreeing to meet up

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  • a girl would rather have a few conversations and get to know the guy a bit first rather than jumping to a date too soon.

    we need to be sure it won't be awkward, it won't be dangerous (you could turn out to be a creepy stalker or a rapist for all we know) and that it might go somewhere before just going on the date and wasting your and my time

    i know talking online doesn't mean you'll get to know if someone is a stalker or a rapist as people can be deceptive but talking online will let us know if you can carry a conversation, if you're interesting and a nice person to chat to so that we are comfortable enough with you to be willing to meet up

    tips:

    - never offer to pick her up at or drop her off at her house, we don't want you knowing our address and where we live exactly until we know you better and trust you more, its a safety thing sorry, your hurt feelings about girls assuming the worst to guys is less important than our personal safety just incase

    -always offer to meet her in a public place during daylight hours like a cafe or a resturant inside, its reassuring that we won't be alone with a stranger who might hurt us and its a nice social place we can get to know each other

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    • Yeah I know, I just asked her if she would like to meet today or sometime at the mall near the city she lived in after I believe it was the 3rd or 4th email and for some reason she just blew me off. I was just dumfounded as to why in the world she is ignoring me now all of a sudden.

What Guys Said 2

  • The guy I know with the most online dating success asks them out on message -one-. Its a dating site. A lot of people though are actually not looking to date, they just want to feed their egos. You can waste a lot of time on them.

    So he asked out date 1. Some girls ignore, some say yes, some say no, some say maybe and then he might message back and forth a little first. But there's nothing -strange- about asking someone on a dating site to a simple drink or coffee date to see if you get along in person.

    If the place you live means you'd have to travel further for dates, then more back and forth might be normal. But if you're in a city, just ask them out.

    I would not be surprised if asking out after a few messages might slightly increase your 'success' rate, but it would hammer your 'ask out' rate such that you'd actually get less dates, not more. Besides, the girls you are most likely going to find success with are the ones who read your profile and think 'yes, I definitely want to meet this guy'.

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  • I know you posted this question for women, but since I bear both your name and your age I felt compelled to answer this...

    In my past experiences, you don't want to suggest meeting too early, but you DEFINITELY do not want to wait too long either...

    I say after three emails, chats, etc. is perfect... 3 is the magic number... if you wait longer than a week, you'll miss your shot.

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