Would it be a bad idea to message him?

This guy and I had a thing in university but were never able to make it work to start dating. We would always text and he would suggest hanging out but then never follow up on it. We did make out on several occasions when drinking but we weren't able to start a relationship. I finally deleted his number because I didn't want him to waste my time when he realized I was moving on he apologized and said it was because of his past relationship and commitment issues.

3 months later I ran into him in person and he begged for me to forgive him and how he wanted to make it work and we planned to meet the next day. The next day he didn't ask to hangout till it was later in the day when I had plans so we didn't meet up. He said he'd try to make it out to the bar but didn't. So I was drunk texting him and saying what was the point of him saying all that stuff, and where would we go from here.He said I seemed way to hurt and wasn't able to move past it so he wasn't sure.

A week goes by and I text him and we have a generic convo but no plans for future hang out...so that was it..I deleted him off fb a couple months later to move on,

Its now been almost a year and I still think about him...I feel like I've forgiven him...but I was thinking about messaging him on fb. He made some kind of impression on me that no other guy has...I dated a little bit since then but I haven't got the same feelings.

Should I message him? and potentially open myself to more heart break or potentially open myself for a fresh start

Helpppp


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't. What you're doing right now is putting him on a pedestal in your mind, making him seem better and nicer than he really is. You are suppressing the bad times (him being unable to follow through with your plans on multiple occasions) with fantasy good times. You basically even said so yourself, "it's the unknown what if scenarios that are getting to me". He's way too flaky. Imagine how flaky he would be in a relationship. I mean, the boyfriend label probably wouldn't have changed anything. You would just repeat the same things over and over again, and I'm guessing he would be unable to commit fully to you.

    Also, it seems like he wasn't 100% into you to begin with. I'm pretty sure that if a guy is really into you, he'll do his best to follow through with plans, and if not, always reschedule and stick to that. It might have been an ego thing for him, he knew that you liked him and that gave him some validation, a boost. Like you said, it has almost been a year, and he STILL hasn't done anything real to actually win you back. I'm pretty sure that's a sign of him moving on, so maybe you should do the same.

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What Guys Said 3

  • don't, if that guy was really into you, he would have followed up on the "hanging out suggestion" a long time ago.

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  • Do not message him. Find a guy who is really into you.

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  • dont

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What Girls Said 2

  • No, Stay away, and move on. Please. He's just not that into you...at all.

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  • I would say he's not that into you. Based on my experience and on his behavior you described, I arrived at that conclusion. But it wouldn't hurt to message him. After all, it's all about timing. Perhaps in the past, it just wasn't a good time. But maybe now it will be. You never know.

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    • its the unknown what if scenarios that are getting to me...and just not meeting anyone like him.

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