How is it that women can date one guy, but not another that they have way more in common with?

How is it that a girl can date one guy for a time, break up with him, maybe end up hating him later on, but then never date or reject a guy that, in life's big picture, has much more in common with her?

You can't tell me that chemistry is everything when it comes to going on dates. Besides, what is chemistry? In one way, you can say it's the butterflies one person gives you, but in another aspect, you can say it's the commonalities that you share with someone else and how well you both fit together.

So how can a girl choose to be with one man, that they won't even like after a while, but then reject or ignore a good man that would be a great fit for her, maybe not even talk to him again after he displayed interest in her, when they could've gone on to be the best of friends and lovers?

I really don't think women use their brain when it comes to dating all that much. Things like this shouldn't happen. I'll even go as far as to say that it's wrong!

A woman should never date a guy that will only provide her short-term satisfaction over a man that has the potential to be with her forever, no matter what! But it's almost like a girl doesn't even know that kind of man when he's right in front of her eyes, or she gets scared or creeped out by him because he actually has strong, real feelings for her and she runs.

It's just not right.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm just going to tell you straight up - it doesn't matter how many commonalities I share with a guy, if I'm not attracted to him and there's no sexual chemistry between us, it's not going to work out. I'm not going to see him as a great fit, because an important component is missing. I can have a friendship with him, but a relationship wouldn't be fair to either of us. Ideally, you find a good guy you have things in common with, who you're also attracted to.

    My advice to you would be to try to be less inhibited with women you're interested in (we are not asexual, and we shouldn't be viewing *you* as asexual), and build comfort and attraction. Bring in your strong feelings -after- those things are established and she has a chance to know you. Otherwise, it's too much, too soon.

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    • Sometimes a man really knows what he wants. Also how do you even expect to know if you might be attracted to a guy when you're not giving yourself a chance to get to know him? This girl and I were "friends" but didn't even treat me like one. Like how are you going to brush me off when you don't even know me? Why not even try to be just friends? And there I was interested in getting to know her, and I just really don't feel she gave me a fair chance, as something more, or even as just a friend.

    • Within meeting someone you know if there's at least some attraction, and from there it can grow or be killed depending on what he's like. That's one specific girl you're talking about though. Don't try to paint all of us with the same brush. I have no idea what her deal was. Maybe she just wasn't into you at all, or she had someone else she liked, or she's just unreasonable, I don't know.

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe she just doesn't like him ? Or maybe he's too cocky and thinks things like how could this girl not like me I'm perfect for her. You don't even know her you can't say that. You guys might like the same music etc etc but that's just what's on the surface you that's all you know so you don't know if your perfect for you if she thought that she would date you.

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  • You need to have attraction or else it is just a friendship. No matter how many things you may have in common it doesn't matter if we're not physically attracted to you. That doesn't mean you need to be absolutely gorgeous - it just means there needs to be a spark.

    No guy wants to be in a sexless relationship, do they? No attraction = no sex.

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    • I tried a sexless relationship. It totally sucked.

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    • What does a confident guy look like then to you?

    • Just be your own person and take initiative with girls. You need to make your intentions clear and flirt with her so she sees you as a sexual being. If you don't make a move right away or flirt from the beginning you risk her only seeing yo you as a friend.

What Guys Said 2

  • Hey who ever said life was fair? And especially the money-dominated meat market game called dating?

    Most girls date for free food and entertainment, and they tend to pick the guys who will give them more of that...it doesn't often involve whether they have anything in common with the guy, or even that they find him attractive!

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    • What about the potential of a man? Do girls even care to notice? And why wouldn't a girl from a family with money turn down a guy from another family with money and then date a guy lower on the totem pole? Swear they don't think.

    • Why would we go for a man with "potential" when we know another who already has what we're looking for?

      Would you date a girl who asked you out because you may potentially like her one day ?

    • NO. I mean potential to go far in life, to one day be able to have money, nice house, nice cars, a nice family. Not bogged down by family baggage or involved with drugs or addictions. The potential to be something greater.

  • Having something in common with someone doesn't mean you will be attracted to them.

    Girls will typically date a guy they are attracted to.

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    • Not just something in common. A LOT in common.

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    • Attraction isn't a "make a list and find common things" type of thing. It's a feeling and we either have it or we don't. If we don't have it there's no forcing it and the most we can be is friends.

      Don't you feel attracted to some girls and not others?

    • Yes but it's at least founded on logic. I wouldn't go out with a girl if I didn't think we were compatible, no matter how hot I think she is. Then over time the feeling grows.

      It doesn't appear girls think that way. They'll date a guy even if he's an a**hat.

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