My girlfriend says that she can take her "Guy" friends out to dinner, and it is not a date?

It has been a while since I have looked at this website, but I have a question. I am in Afghanistan, and my girlfriend has a lot of guy friends. She has gone to football games, out to dinner, to bars, etc. with some of these friends, and even meets new guys at the bars. There are times that she goes home with some of her guy friends and claims to sleep on the floor. I have not gotten the chance to meet any of her guy friends because we only dated about a month before I deployed. I asked her today what makes dates with me different than dates with her friends. She said that she can only have feelings for me and no one else. I also asked her if they pay for the meal, then is it still not a date? She responded saying that she doesn't mind getting free food.

Does this behavior require some more attention or am I being overprotective and jealous? If I started going to dinner with girls, she would flip out. I am convinced that our relationship is one-sided, because she does things that I would never do to her. I just don't know how to confront her from 8,000 miles away without sounding insecure and jealous. I can really use some professional advice. Thank you!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Man, relax. That's like the goal of women . . . to have multiple guys as "friends," which means men who will pay for stuff she wants, but for who she doesn't actually have to have sex with. In other words, free money for nothing in return.

    Do you ever wonder why women go through all this mental drama online asking why guys can't "just" be "friends" with a girl . . . go ahead and finish that sentence . . . "without the girl having to have sex with him." Phrased differently, "why can't guys just give me free stuff, financial support, emotional support, and free psychotherapy . . . while I just sit there and do nothing that they actually want as men in return for them?"

    It's basically a complain about why men aren't down for an unfair or unequal trade.

    Please man. That girl is a player. She's emotionally blackmailing and working the men in her life around her finger, and all those guys are eating it right up . . . and it seems like . . . you are one of those guys lol

    • Thanks, that helps a lot man. That makes a lot of sense. I


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What Girls Said 2

  • if they are paying ho is she taking them out to dinner.

    if she wants to go out to dinner I I think she should pay. that way she just likes the friendship. otherwise it looks as if she's using them. I have a lot of guy friends but I don't let them buy me things.. that's not really friendship its just a sh*tty outlook, imo.but no I don't think she's cheating. I just think she has poor ethics.

  • Girls and guys are different. I think that answers your "question".


What Guys Said 3

  • Thank you for your service man. And I hate to say this, but I strongly recommend that you dump her. She appears to have very loose morals and a complete lack of empathy.

  • this seems like a problem to me. it's not to suggest that she is hooking up with these guys but it does seem like she is in a way emotionally cheating. basically it sounds like she is filling your place with temporary dudes who can give her attention, dote on her, and make her feel like she has a man physically present in her life.

    now if you've known her to always have a good deal of male friends perhaps what I've said is completely incorrect. she could just be a girl who gets along well with men... but I would be very concerned about this behavior because it sounds like she is emotionally using these guys to fill the void of not having you around.

    I'd really wonder about that sleeping on the floor stuff too. Again I wouldn't assume or presume she is hooking up but it sounds like emotionally this is a real grey area

  • Man it really all depends on how YOU feel and wether YOU trust this girl. It could all be fine and she could be completely loyal. Or not. You have to judge her character and decide yourself.