Is it normal to feel pressured to date?

I feel as if everyone around me wants me to date and hey don´t even care if a date a psycho, they just want me to date. My entire family keeps asking me when am I going to introduce them to someone, my mother keeps telling me I don´t go out enough and I should because that way I´m going to get a boyfriend, all my female friends (girls who are in relationships and other girls who are single like me) tell me ALL the time that I should date someone and that I´m weird for being single for a long time.

I feel so pressured I actually don´t want to date anyone. I mean, I do want to get to know someone, but I don´t like the pressure of knowing it has to work our and evolve into a stable relationship so that I can please everyone around me.

My best friend also keeps asking me when am I going to settle down. We are both 24 years old, she has been in a VERY serious relationship for the past 7 YEARS. I feel so exhausted and as if nothing I do is enough to please people. I go to school, I have a job, I work out, I do tons of things and I feel all people care about is if I date or not. They make me feel like such a failure.

I have dated some guys in the past three years, but things never evolved into something serious. Of course I would love to have a perfect, normal, happy, 100% exclusive, wonderful and loving relationship, but it´s hard for some people and I just don´t think I have good luck in this...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This pressure is normal in the sense of being common, but not in the sense of being healthy. A great many people feel like there is something wrong with them because they aren't in a relationship which to me suggests pressure more than desire. On the one hand at 24 you don't need to explain or defend yourself and your choices to anyone. What they are doing is patronizing at best, interfering at worst. On the other hand, be careful that this pressure doesn't interfere with your freedom to date if and when you want to. If you start associating dating with their nagging, you might deliberately avoid things you might otherwise do to avoid looking as if you're giving in. That's no better than giving into the nagging. There is a hint of that in what you wrote already.

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    • Everything you said is 100% true.

    • Why thank you! You can't avoid the nagging but you can counter it with a simple: I'm not a child anymore, I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself so you don't need to worry, etc. That puts them on the defensive and makes the nagging less pleasurable for them.

    • Yeah, I'm gonna try to follow your advice. Thank you!

What Guys Said 2

  • It depends.

    Whether or not it is normal is not the issue. The issue is that you are feeling you are pressured to date.

    But don't feel pressured to date. You don't want to date someone just because people are forcing you to date. It should be your choice. To be happy with a relationship, it has to be spontaneous. Nobody can tell you when it's time for you to date or marry. Just live life, and let it happen.

    There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with being tired and not having the energy for dating. When you find the right person, then you will also find the energy. Just date the right person, not the wrong person.

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  • I can relate. I often visit my grandmother in a nursing, all her friends and workers there every time I go in ask me if I have a girlfriend and I tell them no they always act like I am weird and it makes me feel bad but I know they don't intend to so I usually just smile and try to play it off.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's normal to feel pressured however, you do not have to give in.

    Peer pressure is everywhere. It may be seem harsh hearing others babble out what they think might be right for you but that's because they are unable to see how happy and comfortable you are on your own.

    Dating can be weird, casual dating is not for everyone. Love does happen, but rushing it because of the pressure people are putting on you might delay it.

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  • yes! that's how I feel too. I want a relationship very much but it is hard for me to find the right person. I am not the type of girl who can be with a guy just because he's there, if I don't like him.

    and whenever I find a connection it fails, while the guys I don't like end up liking me.

    my friends ask why I don't internet date or get introduced to people more. here's the thing, I am sick of blind dates. the odds of them working out are slim and it's just frustrating. I want to find that person I REALLY like.

    my friends are getting into relationships but I'm not finding that special one and it drives me towards having flings, which isn't even a good idea, I'm just horny and bored and I need SOME male interaction so I don't go insane!

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  • I don't see the appeal in dating either. Do what you want.

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