Thought still haunts me?

Basically, this girl and I texted for crazy before setting up a real date. We're getting close to our 3 months anniversary. Soon after our first date, we texted a bit and she told me that she felt bad because less than a week before, she saw another guy for the first time, and that she knew he liked her a lot and she'd have to break it off to him that she liked me better. She didn't let me linger for months, and she broke it off to him the next time they did see each other (about a week after our first date). All seemed well at that point, and it wasn't much of a deal.

However, it all started going downwards soon after I met her mother (at that point, we were still more on the dating part and not relationship part) when she told me that when her mom asked her what my name was, she got a blank for a second and almost told her the name of the other guy (She thought it was a somewhat funny anecdote to share with a possible future boyfriend, no need to tell I didn't find it that funny). It made me feel like crap, just like any other guy for her, like a number (even though I know I am the first guy she's ever presented to her parents). Soon afterward, in order to make me feel better, she told me that I could walk through the front door of her house, she wasn't ashamed of me, that ''he'' (meaning the other guy) had to go through her window... meaning they had sex the first time they saw each other... At that point, the way she hinted it, it was as if he was the one to have made the call and ask her for it.

This did hurt me, because maybe a week before that, she told me that she thought that she deserved better, that she could believe in something better now (with me, that is). It is true that we had many things going against us, so that it seemed like we could never really be together (ie: distance), and she told me that she did have feelings for the other guy, she had bigger feelings for me, but because she didn't believe we could be together, she just tried to get with the other guy, even if it made her feel like crap.

The thing is, I installed an app today that shows when a picture was taken on an iPhone. We did say to each other we had feelings, we could see something happening and that we had our head deep in the ground, so I took a picture of that part of our convos because it was sweet. However, when I looked at it, it happens that this convo happened less than 24h before she met the other guy, and slept with him, and it kind of turns me off quite a lot. She saw the guy, told me she thought about me the whole time, didn't like his attitude, how he talked. They left each other but she still texted him later that day so she could f*** his brain out...

I want to forget about this, because this was a few days before our first official date, that since then, she's only been faithful, but to know that when we talked about the fact we enjoyed each other, we could see something, she f***s another guy less than 24h after, how can I get over this...


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What Girls Said 1

  • Before you've had the exclusive talk she is free to do whatever she wants. She was not committed to you when that happened nor did she likely have feelings for you.

    That doesn't mean that what she said to you was a lie.

    I'm dating 2 guys right now and they're both special to me. I haven't promised exclusivity to either of them nor am I expecting it in return. Everything is fair game right now for all of us until we decide otherwise.

    At the end of the day she dumped the other guy for you. Is that not enough to show you how she feels about you compared to him?

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    • It just feels like she jumped the guy one time before she could be with me. She's told me she was turned off by him, that she didn't like him at all when she met him in person, that she thought about me all the time. She told me she liked me, didn't really like him, resigned herself to like him because she didn't think my feelings were reciprocated, even though the day before we told each others we had feelings... I'm well aware I do not own her, and that technically, it was fair game. Bu

    • Well, when you started dating her she had no guarantee you'd even be interested in her. She chose you, you should really get over this and not hold on to a grudge. Both her words and actions show she's in to you.

What Guys Said 1



  • Sure, I can see why you are upset. Go figure, she either lied to you about how she felt in her conversations, or her emotions are completely divorced from her sex. In this second case its a value call and some may be cool with it, but on the other hand, she couldn't masturbate and had to use a man as a dildo instead while feeling nothing about it; maybe that is not the psychological condition of someone you want to get to know. Do YOU want to have sex with a person like that?

    Anyway, two pro-tips-

    1) Leave her and start focusing on healing. Find another some day.

    2) Stick your phone in a glass of water. You might have seen it coming if you got to know her in person from the get-go. Maybe some subtle sign could have tipped you off, like a visual or audio cue, and saved you all the heartache. Keep your head cool if your only texting in the future.

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