Online dating on OkCupid. What am I doing wrong?

So I reactivated my account on okcupid, and I usually get a lot of messages some creepy some flattering but no one I am really interested in. However, (and I find that this usually happens in person too) I found someone interesting who I have common interests with, and normally I wouldn't make the first move because in the past it bit me in the ass, but I did it anyways. I just said hi my name is so and so and I am also interested in legal services too and work in it too. He has been online recently, checked my profile and didn't respond. What am I doing wrong? I'm such an awkward penguin.

Updates:
Ok... He just viewed my profile today... again, and then deactivated his account... what?! I don't understand...

0|0
2|6

Most Helpful Guy

  • There are women I don't respond to because I'm not interested or their messages don't have a lead. Asking Q's is a great way to keep things open. Simply messaging and then ending with a Q and if he responds, respond but end with a Q. If you end a conversation with no lead you have a high chance of blowing your chances. It was an OK message... sorta... better than "hi."

    He could have also simply thought you two were not a match. Don't let it get to you. Guys literally have to message 20+ girls just to get one response sometimes.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • That happends to guys all the time, I remember finding a girl on there that loved all the same music, TV shows, games and things to do and I figured she would at least respond but never did. I don't think it is much to do with what you did wrong as it has to do with what they are looking for and find attractive. I personally respond to any message sent to me even if I am not interestead in the person I would tell them so because it is better than leaving them up in the air.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Aw well if it makes you feel better I'm an awkward penguin too! Same thing happened to me on okcupid this week. Someone viewed me I sent them an email we were chatting getting along really well and then nothing! They stopped contacting Me altogether! There's no way way you'll ever find out what happened and there's no point beating yourself up wondering if you could have done anything to stop it. Just keep trying you'll meet your mr right you deserve to.

    0|0
    0|0
    • It seems like that happens on a lot of websites; people will talk for a while and then just disappear. Seriously, what's up with that?

    • I know right? How rude! People swear by online dating but I aren't so sure!. It should be like school where you used to hit a girl you liked on the arm to let her know you liked her!

  • Well basically, you are experiencing what I am experiencing. I contacted a few women who seemed to have at least 3 or more shared interests, got no answer.

    Yet, a couple women I have absolutely no shared interest with are replying.

    Profiles are complete bullsh*t, all that is important is your picture.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Is it a turn off to guys if a girl messages first? Should I have waited? Everyone who messages me says I'm cute/pretty/beautiful even the non-creeps and I put my most flattering pics. UGH! It's a never ending cycle. If I don't say anything I get ignored and called shy. If I do say something I get ignored and called crazy or intimidating. WTF?

    • It's definitely not a turn-off. Actually two women messaged me first. One had a cool message, the other one was plain creepy. It happens to men too you know ;)

      I have sent about 50 messages since I created my account, and have 4 discussions, with 2 that might lead to dates. I'm not creepy, I try to be a little funny but success rate is very low. That's just life, I know, it sucks a lot.

  • You perhaps sent a message to a guy way out of your league .

    0|0
    0|0
  • That doesn't sound like a very interesting message. Or maybe he just didn't like your profile.

    I think you need to understand that girls get rejected too. Unfortunately, very few girls initiate; so most girls never learn that. It bit you on the ass? You mean you got rejected. That's life. Move on.

    0|0
    0|0
    • In regards to the message, I was thinking that too. What should I do? Send another message? Put more detail into my profile? He checked his profile yesterday but didn't respond... :/ and yes I got rejected

    • Show All
    • On the plus side, maybe he likes you and is agonizing over how to reply in order to maximize his chances with you.

    • It went along the lines of I saw your profile and I think it's cool that you do public interest work at night. I actually work in public interest myself! so cheesy

What Girls Said 2

  • girl you are only 18-24! go out and meet random people and have fun! you are way too young to worry about random guys online!

    0|0
    0|0
  • How long has it been since he checked your profile? If it has been more than a week, and he has been active, then he's clearly not interested. I wouldn't give up so soon, give it some time. :-)

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...