Should I date him? (please help)

There's this guy that I kind of like. We have hung out some, but I don't really know him that well. The thing is, he has this type of cancer, and unless they can cure is (which isn't likely) he doesn't have very much longer to live. And I feel like I don't want to get attached if he's going to die...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know that it's scary to be around someone that is dying. It's not simple. The thing is none of us are promised a tomorrow. Honestly, I think in a few ways it would be good for anyone to date someone in that situation. You have to make the most of each day together. That's such an incredible life lesson. I don't know this guy's past. You may be the only girlfriend he'd ever have. Just don't do anything as charity. Death is a scary thing. I can't say it isn't. If you go out, maybe the relationship won't be as long as you'd hope but what relationship isn't a failure? I think it would be good to be honest and to say that you aren't used to this or that it scares you. There isn't anything wrong with admitting fear. Life doesn't give us many chances and even fewer second chances. In your situation, you may not get a second chance with this guy. If you genuinely like him you can't wait too too long. If he gets sicker and you lose him, yes you will hurt. But if you like him and you do nothing, you're going to be sad and regret things too. It just seems easier to cope when knowing you took a chance, or made an effort. This all depends on how you feel about the guy. If you didn't know he was sick, would he be dating material or friend material? If he can't be your boyfriend then he can always be his friend. This stuff is not easy. It takes courage to lose someone. It takes patience to be anyone's friend anyhow. You have a chance to be close to this guy.I think you should take it.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Yeah, you should go for it if you want to. It will make both of you happier :) and this guy doesn't have long to live. Psychologically, disappointment from a relationship, even a could be relationship, makes the body not want to function, and love produces the opposite effect, so live and love. Even if it is a short relationship, it won't be because neither of you didn't try, or you were always figthing or anything like that. You guys could have the gift of a perfect relationship, and yes it may be short, but as long as you are happy, that's what matters.

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  • I would say go for it. He might even live longer just because you're there for him. Love IS a cure.

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  • im into health pysch and it is very true love is considered one of the greatest cures even for cancer the way in which you percieve life etc. if you don't go for it and he does die won't you wonder what you to would have done togther

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  • If you truly have deep feelings for him I personally think you should act on them. From my experience thinking about what if's and what's going to happen in the future puts you in a bad situation. Live in the moment and do what your heart says now. The whole what if game is not a road people should go down, it leads to bad thoughts which will hurt you.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You need to charish the life he has left and use everyday to be together. I had a boyfriend die a few years ago that I was very attached to and dated for years, and the day he died all I could think of was all that I learned from him and all the fun times we had.

    If you really honestly like him, I would say go for it and go through the struggles together. So when the day he dies arrives, you can think of the great times. No way is this a waste of time.

    Going into this you have to be honest in understanding that he will pass away, it's okay to be afraid of that, and tough feelings are definitely going to be involved. Is that something that you are aware of?

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  • I say go for it! It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Nothing in life is guaranteed except death and taxes so even if you dated a guy who didn't have a terminal illness, he could still cheat on you or leave you after a couple of months.

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  • That's a hard call and I've never been in a relationship like that. But if I were, I would try to distance myself a bit, but just be there for him as a good friend. It depends on how much you like him and what your heart says. I think you might know deep down, but you ask a very very good question.

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  • Give it a chance and if he dies, he will die the happiest guy in the world. And, maybe you won't be sad knowing that you were the last best thing to ever happen to him.

    Hope that helps!

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  • go with him...love can increase life

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