Did I give her good advice?

My friend's entire relationship/relationship failure feels like my fault because I gave her the advice to begin with.

Before she started dating this guy I gave her the advice, "Pick your boyfriend like you pick your horse." (We're horsey/country folk :p)

Basically, when you pick a horse, you don't buy the prettiest one or the one that looks like it'll be the most fun to ride (i.e. dangerous) you pick the one that matches where you are as a rider and who has the skill level you're at. One that you can work well with and who isn't too much for you to handle or too little that you don't enjoy working with it. It's the same with boyfriends. You can't date the hot one because he's hot and you can't date the "bad boy" because odds are you're going to get hurt. You have to date the guy who's there for you and who respects you - even if he's not the hottest stud out there - at least he'll treat you right.

So she then got in an argument with the guy she decided to date. This argument has been going on for three weeks now. She was venting to me about it and I told her to perform the "10 year test". I said that she needed to picture herself 10 years into marriage with him/being with him and decide if she could still handle his behavior.

She said no. She then went back to him and broke up with him.

I feel like I was just trying to give her advice, not break them up...

Did I at least give her good advice? Despite how she chose to take it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nothing wrong with the advice. It was her choice to take it or not.

    PS I think the same way. Although horse-shopping is 10x easier than finding a boyfriend LOL.

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    • Yeah...I told her you pick a boyfriend like you pick a horse but never pick a horse like you pick a boyfriend. She was confused lol.

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    • Yeah...it's a thinker but if you think for a second it makes sense lol

    • I buy my horses from friends, typically.

What Guys Said 1

  • You gave her advice. Not good or bad in and of itself.

    It is her decision to take it or not.

    You shouldn't be berating yourself for your (good, IMNSHO) advice.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It isn't your fault. SHe made the decision.

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