I'm dating a guy who's not sure whether or not his mom would be okay with the fact that I'm white...

So the guy I'm dating is Chinese... The other day we were talking about our parents' perspectives on their children's relationships, and I asked him whether or not his mom would be okay with him dating a non-asian... And he said that he wasn't sure... Is that an indication that he's not really serious about me, since he knows that his family might not approve?


Most Helpful Guy

  • No its an indication that he believes his mom will be slightly racist toward you not being asian.

    (( If he was so drop dead serious about following whatever family wishes/customs that may be in effect he wouldn't even be with you now ))

    I don't see why it matters, If you like him and he likes you that's all that should matter.

    Im black and I've been with women whos mom's/racists dads did not approve at all. Only major effect was it made it alil harder to hangout since we had to go to my house or out somewhere.

    Does he give you other signs aside from your question that he doesn't? Does he seem disconnected from you or something? How long have all been dating?


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What Guys Said 2

  • A pretty big indication that he's sure his mom wouldn't like it! That's why he hasn;'t asked...That doesn't necessarily mean he's not serious about you, though. He just doesn't want to start a fight with his mom if you're only just 'dating.'

  • I don't get your logic here. Surely a better conclusion would be that he is with you despite his family not approving shows he is serious?

    Or it could be another negative one, that he just doesn't want to tell his parents about you; whether because he sees its not serious or he just doesn't so that (I don't)

    Everyone is different of course but I wouldn't worry too much. With you as the white girl you're in better stead than if you were a guy dating outside your culture.

    Also with racist Chinese people they tend to rank whites as second to Chinese, long before other Asians.


What Girls Said 3

  • That says more about his mom than him. If you do eventually meet his mom and he can't stand up to her, then you should dump him. But for now, he sounds OK. Just watch out, because he may avoid introducing you to his family later on, which is also a big no-no.

  • If he's from a really stern cultural family, it is mostly they're not in favour of you so you might be right about him who's not going to be serious about you. But it's too early to tell since you are in the early stages of dating.

  • He might not have asked his parents with regards to their thoughts on interracial relationship, but doesn't mean he isn;t serious with you. tbh, I am not sure too whether my parents would disapprove if I am in an interracial relationship. are his parents conservative? however, I hope he will not bow down to family pressure if his parents are against it, if he does, then I would feel he isn't serious and sincere. I don't believe in rejecting a relationship just because of the person's race/religion, the only reason it should be rejected has to be due to personality issues.