Dating someone you like vs. someone you have a potential to like?

How many of you do the latter? I'm really interested in seeing how this is distributed between men and women!

Is it kinder to reject someone outright or to give them the chance they want because you sense "potential" (though not necessary feelings)?

Updates:
To clarify a little more: between the clearly drawn lines of like and not like, I think there is room for a little grey area for the ones that don't fall completely into either category. Dating someone in the grey area is a personal choice and obviously full of its own issues... but I wanted to open up dialogue on how quickly and succinctly men and women establish motivations to date when potential (i.e. interest to some level) is involved.

0|1
1|4

Most Helpful Guy

  • If I date a girl that means I like her. it does not mean we are compatible or that we will have a relationship. Since I approach more than I get approached I will generally like a girl before she likes me. I don't cold approach girls. I get to know them a little or test the waters through flirting. If she seems to be reciprocating I date. If she is not I move. If you as a girl are just not feeling a guy and make a spot judgement call then make one as it is better than seeing if he will grow on you

    1|0
    0|0
    • @update. I like to remove any grey zone before actual dating. She doesn't have to like me, but at least be interested in gettingg to know me

What Guys Said 3

  • I try to give girls chances whenever I can if I see potential. I know for some people (myself included) sometimes it takes a bit to warm up to someone before they really come out of their shells and start acting like themselves. I don't think it's leading them on at all. I don't tell them I have feelings for them or anything. I'll just go out with them a few times, and if I don't feel like there will be any chemistry, I'll tell them. I'm not saying I go out with every girl who is attracted to me, but if I think there is potential, why not?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I date someone I like, I've never dated someone if I only thought that I may like them eventually... it's not fair on them if I could end up just leading them on if I figure out they're not for me. If I thought I may have feelings for someone that could develop I would tell them that I'm not sure how I feel yet and to give me time to work it out.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Personally, what does it mean to give someone a 'chance?' Usually you either like them or you don't. Why go out with someone on the theory of 'giving them a chance?' It's not a game of roulette.

    And it's dishonest, because by agreeng, you're telling them you like them, and then if you turn around and tell them you don't, they usuallywill be angry and accuse you--rightly, I think--of 'leading them on.'

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • If I don't find a guy physically attractive, then it pretty much ends for him there. If he's physically attractive, but I don't like him, then I won't date him until he spends some time with me casually until I like him. If I like him, then I would date him. If I don't like someone and am not friends with them, then I don't want to spend extra time on them.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...