Is he being honest? If I'm too clingy, will giving him space fix it?

I recently started dating the guy I was in love with five years ago. He broke up with me at that time (I wanted another child, he didn't, I've had one since, and he is totally supportive of that), but since then has tried to be in contact with me many times and has told mutual friends (including his sister-in-law) that he made a mistake and was ready to be with me. I basically kept any communication short and didn't respond much.

When I finally accepted his friend request a few weeks ago, we started texting all day every day. That has slowed down a lot, which I understand; he works 80-90 hours per week and travels for work. He said he wants something more than casual and to see where it goes. I went to see him (out of state) a week and a half ago and spent the weekend with him. It was great, and he said that we're just starting over, which is good. He said that he'd come to see me as soon as he can (he's on call on some weekends, and often works Saturdays and sometimes Sundays).

Since then, I've felt myself becoming clingy, and texting/calling probably too often. He has had to work 14 hours away, 15 hour days or more. He did say two days ago that he'd help me shop for something when he can come back in state (his family is here). Yesterday, I finally asked if he's still "in," because I haven't heard from him much, but that I know he's busy and taking it slow is a good thing. He said yes, apologized for being so busy, and said he'd "holler back" later, because he had to go back to work (typical for his job). He didn't get back in touch, so I assume he fell asleep. I sent him a pic and text this morning, then worried that he didn't respond so called and left a message. A little later, he texted that the pic was good and he was just already at work. I texted back that I'm sorry, have a good day, and give me a call or text later.

Should I trust what he said yesterday? I don't think he would lie to me. I've told him I don't want to play head games, and he has told me he would tell me if he ever changed his mind. If he's pulling back because I'm being too clingy, will me pulling back and giving him space save it?


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What Guys Said 1

  • i think you should try and stop reading things into every correspondence, every call, text, etc. just be in this relationship for a bit and see how he responds to you.

    It's hard to say whether he's being honest or not but I don't see any reason why he would be dishonest...like what is the end game to this if he doesn't give a crap.

    the probelm I do see in general is that he is simply not always or even often available and that means you have to be OK with and secure in a relationship (if it gets to that point) where you may not have communication or even get to physically see this guy. The fact that you are so concerned about how he feels since he often is unresponsive would make me wonder if (if I was in your position) if I could deal with this sort of relationship and feel satisified with the way it is

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    • Thank you for your advice! I think you're right about it. I do want to be in this relationship, and I'm trying to relax. I've had relationships with guys who worked over the road for a few weeks at a time before, but it has been a while, and I'm trying to readjust. I also realized that I still have strong feelings for him, but I didn't even realize it, because I thought I was over him a long time ago. Starting over is weird and different, so I just have to let it be what it is.

What Girls Said 1

  • Sheeesh...you read way too much into everything.

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