Girls, what do you do when you sense that the guy you're dating is a player?

I always wonder that. My friends say I ditch guys too quickly/easily. I'm not really into casual dating, so when I feel like a guy doesn't want a relationship and is too sexually-enclined, I move on and stop dating him.

Right now, I'm seeing a guy that's very much a sweet talker and eager to get closer. He claims he'll wait for as long as I need, but I think that's bullsh*t. I believe he just hopes he'll get in my pants if he sticks around for long enough. I like him though, we have chemistry, lots in common and we get along great. I told a friend that this guy is one strike away from getting dumped for his player vibes, and she asked me ''Why do you keep dating him if you're just waiting for his next faux pas?" That's an interesting question.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I dated a guy who gave me a vibe of a player, as I dated him for 3months we never talked about anything sexual we only got to the point of kissing. I am a virgin, so I can't deal with getting played, so I began asking his intentions, he said he was serious but I got the vibe of him wanting to play me. I finally got to the point of asking him again, what he wanted because I did not feel we were on the same page. He ended up trying to play me...He said he wasn't ready to be in a relationship and said he still wanted to have me there. I obviously called him out on his lying a** telling me he was serious. He then told me he doesn't like labeling relationships...Now he was definitely trying to stay longer to get something out of me...He did not know I was a virgin though. Be careful, start by asking what he hopes out of you two. If more than 3-4 months pass and he never mentions a relationship or getting to that point, it might not go anywhere and he will play the game right. Like you, I definitely have concerns about guys.

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    • 3-4 months?! Whoa, you and this player dude are PATIENT! I can't see myself keeping contact with this guy longer than a week, if he strikes again or if I don't see this going anywhere. We text everyday, and there's no way I'll keep making that effort or agree to other dates if he seems phony. I think I'll keep him around for a bit, until I get sick of overanalyzing the whole thing. Then I'll get make him face it and dump his arse if he proves to be looking for nothing more than casual sex.

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    • what if we just are not sure yet? surely love can grow right?

    • if that's the case, you can go with the flow and risk feelings and outcome. It is all up to you

What Guys Said 2

  • When during a relationship are you willing to have sex? just curious

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    • I would have sex with him if he was my boyfriend, but not at the very second he becomes my boyfriend. A month or 2 tops, but with this guy, it seems like forever, so I don't quite believe he'll last anywhere near that long.

  • you can't change a player they can only ch

    ange themselves.

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    • I'm not trying to change him. I'm just not letting him play me, BAM.

What Girls Said 4

  • I dated a player and at first I was VERY careful. He wasn't careful about it either, he was an open player. So all I did was not put out and tell him he has to wait for sex. At first it REALLY pissed him off but I got to his heart before his d*** lol, and it worked. He started to like me and now he's my boyfriend and it's been 3 months and he still hasn't had sex with me, so I'm being careful.

    If you like the guy, keep seeing him. If it's just cause you want a guy in your life, reevaluate and ask yourself if you will miss him when he's gone or not. Just don't put out for a while, at the most makeout. That'll be how you see if he really likes you and if you can let him in or not.

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    • That's an encouraging story! Well honestly, I think he'd make a good boyfriend, but the fact that he's so keen on getting closer and not really telling me what he's looking for turns me off. I think I'll get on staying careful, not putting out and see if he calms down a little. Right now he's texting me lots of cutesy lots and telling me lots of compliments. I guess I just want to see what's beyond that, and we're not there yet. Time, I guess!

  • u have great intuition,never ignore that,and tell your friend you are not just waiting for his next faux pas,u will stop him in his tracks

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    • Yeah, I trust my intuition. But I also know I am more cynical than most, so I'm giving him a chance for now. I'm not one to fall for stuff that seems too good to be true. We shall see!

  • I will flee

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  • i don't put myself out there at all

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    • what do you mean, you just don't date ever?

    • i am not vulnerable in any way to the player guy

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