He doesn't want me to date other guys but he is distant with me? Confused!

Ok, Ben and me are friends, and of course in the beginning he was constantly texting, and calling me, but recently he became more distant where he barely texts or calls me. It is at least though once a week he will contact me in some way. But He told he liked some other girl and he felt that is was going to lead to dating and such. Well I thought I was a thing in the past and I was kinda hurt, cause I do like him, so I am trying to move on from the thought of us dating.

Ben went out with some friends (whom I am friends with as well) and my one friend Mike said that he wanted to set me up with this guy Nate, and he said "Sarah likes Nate so I think I should hook them up" and the other friends were agreeing, but Ben got angry and weird. He said "She is way too hot for him" "She is way too good for him" "If she dates him I will never speak to her again!" Mike said that he was noticeably jealous. He never complimented me to my face, so that was the first compliment I have ever heard form him. Also He would ask me out and then back out and he would continuously do this, but yet he got all jealous cause I want to go out with Nate? It's so confusing to me cause I thought he liked another girl, and because he was becoming distant with me, I thought I was a thing in the past! So what do you guys think? Please Answer! I am so confused! Thank you!


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well apparently he likes you enough to have an interest, but he doesn't care much about you. He clearly doesn't. He also doesn't prioritize you very highly. However, I think he sees you as "good enough". Like you're just a backup plan. A second (or third) choice. He doesn't want you that much, he just doesn't want anyone else to have you.

    Make no mistake, you mean very little to him, otherwise he wouldn't try so hard to keep you in a holding pattern. If you meant more to him, if you were a higher priority, he would be dating you. He'd be with YOU not her. He'd pursue YOU, not HER. You would not be the BACKUP plan you'd be Plan #1, not a contingency.

    I've read your previous question on this guy. I gotta ask. Why are you so hung up on this jerk? He very clearly treats you like crap, doesn't hold you in very high regard, and you clearly know it, at least on some level. Why are you so hung up on him? In fact, he's put you down to your face when he moved you to his backburner, and behind your back you now know he's blatantly sabotaged any competition that could start something resembling a lovelife for you.

    Why are you hung up on him?

    Why have you not told him off?

    I really don't get it.

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  • You know how guys always say that girls are more interested in jerks? You've just fed that belief.

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