Throwing me a curve and seeing my reaction? Or awkwardly telling me the truth?

First date with this girl went great, she made me smile and I was laughing alot, same with her. She was playing with her hair a lot! has her legs pointed right at me and all in all seemed very interested. I let her do most the talking and she just chatted and chatted and when she realized this she began asking so what about you type questions? So second date I knew she was really into hiking as she is part of a search and rescue volunteer squad and she does that stuff all the time and this spot locally she hadn't been to yet. So we met up and 3 min later after the meet and greet hug she talking about work and how she is so busy and blurts out she doesn't have time for a realtionship, a little farther up the trail she mentions she just wants friends and then see where things go. I don't really say much but right right and I can understand that. I start talking about more of my interests to her and she says "oh a little country girl would be perfect for you" and kinda looks at me and smiles. She also kinda jokingly later says I would like to find a older well established guy. I don't get it why would a girl that wanted a second date with me and has been smiling at me the whole time on first and second date start acting like neither of us are compatible with each other. Its just a second date. She throwing me a curve already? Not wanting to seem too interested and wanted to see how I would react? I mean why go on a date with a guy if your going say things like that? Mixed signals..uggh


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Most Helpful Girl

  • sounds like the first date went well. I get the vibe she likes you a lot. However something happened between the first and second date. Perhaps she received some advice from her friends to play hard to get ? or, its just in her to pull back a little. Whatever it is, play off her vibe. I think its good that you just let her talk about how you need a "country girl" and how how she needs someone who is more "established" and were silent. The next time she says something about what you "need" say something like " you might be right about that." throw a curve ball and see where the convo steers. if she switches the conversation and it starts sounding like how it did on the first day, then you know she doesn't really mean what she has been suggesting. If the convo stays the same then perhaps yes, she changed her mind.

    whatever it is, she's trying to pull back- let her. Or, she's trying to see your reaction. I'd say fall back a little bit. don't mention a 3rd date until she does (if you already have cancel), and when she does tell her your busy and will get back to her the following week. when she starts acting interested you should too.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Maybe she didn't view it as a date. maybe you are attractive and she just wanted your company or to take her mind off other things. girls don't think like guys. girls actually like having guy friends too, which could be part of it. and girls don't just text a guy, or talk to him because they are interested in something, sometimes they just do it for the sake of it, hard to explain. maybe she likes you but does not find you "relationship" material so knows it won't work out but enjoys hanging with you.

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  • She could be using reverse psychology to make herself seem more attractive and desirable (we get taught that guys want what they can't have).

    OR she could be genuinely looking for a friend. Like she might have realized at the first date that she's not attracted enough to be exclusive with you but likes and appreciates you enough to remain friends.

    So the conclusion is she's either really into you but is a manipulative wreck with self-esteem issues (why else would she act differently to keep you guessing) and you should ask yourself if this is good for the long run.

    Or she likes you - just as a friend.

    You decide.

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  • she probably decided she just wnated to be friends.it was a little bitchy of her to agree to a date if she just wanted to be friends though

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  • i thinks he just didn't know hwo to handle elling you the truth

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What Guys Said 5

  • Pay more attention to what she does vs. says

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  • Sounds like she's trying to put you in the friend zone unfortunately. Doesn't sound like you guys have escalated physically to the point of like hand holding or kissing which is where it's clear a girl is interested in being more than friends...

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  • Bro it's a WOMAN. They change their minds by the minute for silly reasons. I would just ignore her and look for someone who doesn't want to be strange.

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  • yup. definitely friend zone. And even if that's not what she was going for you definitely don't want to stick around for those games. Time to move on.

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  • I doubt she's just doing it to throw you a curve, most girls know well how guys respond to "let's just be friends." I mean, unless it's friends with benefits, forget her and move on.

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