Is this an adult way to handle this?

So this guy I've dated...well one date he keeps giving me hot and cold signs, texting me and asking me what my plans are and when I reply he doesn't text me back.. and just being very weird and its happened all week , he changed after our first date, before that he was writing me everyday ( met online)

so today he wrote me asked me what my plans for the weekend was and I replied ..didnt want to be rude or be drama, I don't have time for that

i am 21 and he is 28 so he should act like a man..he hasn't replied and its been 5 hours ..

so I wrote him on Facebook "hey! what is the purpouse of texting me when you have no intention of replying ^^" ?

is this childish or mature? will it show he can't play with me ?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • IMO, you both handled it poorly/immaturely.

    The mature way to handle it was, after once or twice, to tell him: "Hey, I like talking to you, but it's rude to initiate texting someone, and then never respond to their replies. If you leave me hanging like that, I feel like you aren't really interested, which makes me not want to talk to you. So, what's up with that?"

    Be honest and direct. Don't accuse or place blame, just tell him how (whatever it is) makes you feel, and what you will do as a result, and then give him an opportunity to explain and/or correct his behavior. If he continues to do that behavior, then you tell him "We talked about you doing (whatever it is), and you keep doing it, so until you are ready to change that, please stop contacting me." And then you move on and ASSUME he'll never get back to you. If he does, and he does the right things, then you can reconsider, but never count on that happening, and never put your life on hold hoping it does.

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    • I mean I think I am doing that now, I couldn't do it before cause I felt it was to early..i mean after our first date he texted me good morning but was slow at replying so I didn't think about it but than he didn't awnser and its rude when he tells me yes lets meet but when I ask if wensday is a good day he doesn't reply and than texts me today askign what I'm doing than doesn't reply.. am I right to ask him this than?

    • Yes. That's rude of him. If it happens once in a while, but if it's all the time, you NEED to call him out on it.

What Guys Said 2

  • The mature thing would be to move on. There is no attachment like that, so move on the another guy. Do not text, interact or get in touch anymore.

    Writing him on Facebook like that makes you look crazy. Don't do it again.

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    • i didn't say it in a mean or hars way :P its a simple question, I did move on after he didn't reply me after 4 days but when he again text me I demand a awnser

    • Why do you need an answer? To me, his actions are telling you way more than his words will ever do. If he wanted more with you, he would be in contact more.

    • totally understand your point, I was doing that but again I thought today okay he texts me so maybeee he want to meet up but no he does it again and I've been treated like sh*t before so I just want him to know its not OK so he can leave

  • It's only been 5 hours calm down. Give him a little bit more time and don't be overly aggressive.

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    • i understand but he has done it all week..he didn't awnser me on Monday and now he text me again..its rude

      so I mean why not just tell me :p

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    • i know I know but maybe this will just let him know I don't like that ?:S the whole hot and cold thing..

      i don't mean to be rude with him I just want to know his deal

    • and also on Monday he said ofcourse we can meet this week..and he didn't reply to me when I asked when.. its rude

What Girls Said 1

  • mm doesn't seem like this guy is that interested. guys that genuinely are busy a lot that are interested usually reply eventually with an apology messsage or something and then suggest a time to meet straight away etc.
    hot/ cold basically means I don't know what I feel about you, or I do know what I feel about you and its that I am NOT that into you BUT incase I change my mind I will keep you on a string.
    When bored he quite possibly sends out multiple messages to people and whoever he is most interested that responds he goes with. Even if that isn't true for you it just seems he has you as an option or just likes having you there for the sake of it. I would ditch the guy.

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