Online dating - Why do girls ditch you after a months time?

So I started talking to a very friendly same hobbies type of girl, very attractive too I might add. Anyway I end up talking to her for a month, my messages I feel are very engaging and she already pointed out I was a really funny guy. However, after about 10 super long emails she just stops responding to me without a reason at all. Hmm, I'm just left scratching my head, thinking is it something I said? Did I move to slow? Is it because of the long distance? So far its been a weeks time and I've got nothing back from her. I usually take one or 2 days to respond and she takes 3 maybe 4 sometimes. So, I guess my question is, if she really doesn't want to talk to me anymore, can't I at least have a reason or she can tell me she is talking to someone else; really I just want a reason. I wasn't too wrapped up in her yet, but I just wish sometimes girls would be more open and show some respect.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have run into the same problem with online dating. I've been left hanging a bunch of times and I wanted to know a reason and never got it. And I have talked with a guy as long as you have without meeting up/exchanging numbers. Girls go through this too. Always be mindful that the other person is probably talking to at least one other person if not more. It can be a combination of things that she just stopped talking to you. I was told talk to the person no more than 2-3 weeks tops through messaging and then at least exchange phone numbers around that time and set up a date to meet up. I hate when anyone suddenly wants to ignore someone else especially if they been talking to you for a while and things seemed fine. I think they at least owe you some type of reasoning.

    Messaging back and forth on a regular routine only lasts for so long and eventually messages aren't as often as they use to be. She might be waiting for you to ask her for her number. You can always try one last time and reach out to her see what she says.

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    • Thanks MissyMel, I know you girls can go through this too, just more frequent for guys since we are mostly the go getters. I'll maybe try sending her one last email, I let her know we should Skype in the last email, after that I heard nothing. So not sure what it is besides the fact that I took to long to ask her, and maybe she realized the distance is just too far, except I thought "any" distance in her profile was proof that she would be willing to do a long distance relationship.

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    • I like your answer, but there's no way in Hell that women experience this as much as men do ;)

    • Maybe. I never said they do. I just pointed out women go through it as well, and I'm basing it on my own experience. Guys are more likely to reach out to the girl first most of the time so yeah they probably experience it way more.

What Girls Said 3

  • Long distance never works. When online dating, people should only talk a few times online, move it to phone conversations then meet within a week or 2 so that there are no feelings before they actually meet and no whether they even like each other. She could have found someone else--or maybe her husband found all your emails. Never know when it is long distance who or what you are actually typing to.

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  • i don't do long distance. and point. good luck

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  • You were only messaging. That means scrap. It's the equivalent of getting mad because some girl you chatted up in a bar didn't say bye. Wait even that is better because at least you met her face to face. If you take too long to get her number she will get bored.

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    • Well, when she's in another country that means something ;)

    • I'm not upset, I'm just disappointed. If you've been talking to me for a month and we both have connected pretty well, at least tell me that you'd like to move on - that's it.

What Guys Said 5

  • Honestly, keep the emails short but not like "hi." A few sentences tops. Get her number, and meet her. If she's "too scared" just brush her off as a dumb attention whore and move on to the next profile. Many girls make profiles just for the attention with no intention of meeting anyone. It's just another Facebook for them except they get to have a buncha desperate guys flood them with emails saying they are beautiful when they're really fat and just using face only pics to hide their weight.

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  • In online dating, you shouldn't try and back-and-forth a woman for a month. There's no point in building so much tension and excitement for a long period of time for someone you haven't even met.

    The best thing to do is exchange a few messages and then ask for her number. If you keep her waiting on this for a month, by then, other guys will message her and your message will be buried in the pile.

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    • Your totally right, I waited way to long. The distance was throwing me off, wasn't sure how it would ever work - so maybe its best it didn't happen anyway. In the last email I asked her if she wanted to Skype because if we called each other it would be long distance.

    • my rule is get her number within 7 days or ignore her

  • Why? because women have literally LITERALLY hundreds of other guys showing interest. IT's only a matter of time before someone taller, more handsome, and more money that you comes a long and leaves you for them.

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  • Happens to everyone - Just move fast... within 2 or 3 days.

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  • Online dating you have to be fast, these women are talking to other guys. If they think even for a second your expendable you will never hear from her again.

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