Good guy but not attracted. Should I give it a try?

There's a guy I met about 3 months ago. He's very nice and interested in getting to know me as a person, and not just trying to get in my pants. We talk everyday but I explained to him from the very beginning if we could just be friends because I was not looking to date since I had just gotten out of a bad relationship.

He respected it at first, but now he is making to very clear that he wants us to "take it to the next level". I responded by repeating what I told him at the start of our "friendship" about not being ready to date, but he is still very flirty with me. He also has introduced me to his friends and wants me to meet his parents. I'm worried because I feel like I'm leading him on even though I never reciprocate any of the flirty behavior and I'm always very upfront about not wanting to date at the moment.

However, part of me does want to date again and I feel like I should date him because it seems like he might treat me well and I've never dated someone like him; only a**holes. But at the same time, I'm not physically attracted to him and I think that is an important factor as well. It's like I don't want to date him but it seems like I should. I don't want to seem shallow but I also want to be able to be enjoy the outside just as much as the inside.

What do you guys think?

(Btw, I once dated a guy who was not physically attractive to me AT ALL and he still ended up being an a**hole in the end-- and very jealous. So.. yeah lol)

Thanks everybody! I appreciate all the answers (even the not so nice ones lol) but I think that I should just go with the flow for now and see where it goes. I've never met a guy like him so I think that I will give him the chance when he brings it up again.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd say give it a go. Have you ever heard of the 80/20 principal when it is applied to relationships? It says that you may not always get everything you want from a partner, but the closer they have to 80 % the more you should be willing to give it a go. Romantic relationships aren't only about how you look on instagram. Unless he is repulsive to look at I say you should give him a try. He may not have that 20% but attraction is something you can work at

    "Men grow on women , women don't grow on men" - link


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What Guys Said 6

  • i say try him out. evey guy is different from the next. ask him what is he looking for with you.

    that might give you a clear picture.

    but if he's introduced you to his friends then he likes you alot. and if he wants you to meet his parents then he finds you respectable and don't play games with him. to me it sounds like he was looking for a respectable girl who don't play games with him and you make him happy.

    ive had the same thing happen to me too.

    and I was hurt very badly.

    just try not to talk to him for a bit and see if he replys to you.

    if he loves you like I love this girl it will hurt him if you dump him on the spot.

    maybe you could try like I don't think I want to meet your parents yet. he will ask why to you say stuff to him that he won't like as that will start to turn him away from you slowly.

    other than that. personal choice.

    how do you feel around him? are you happy and feel comfiable around him?

    all things you need to answer yourself I'm afraid.

    good luck.

  • No don't date guys that you don't think are not attractive. Eventually you will find a guy who is both nice and attractive.

  • I think you are tipical girl who likes jerks but not knowing value of good guys.

    Dont date him because probably you gonna hurt him.. ,

    He deserves a better girl than you if you ask me.

  • You're not attracted, so don't bother; why is this particularly difficult? I wish I had time for such empty dilemmas.

  • So date all the assh*les and just be friends with the good guys.


  • This sounds an awful lot like my sitation (only we've known each other for slighty shorter time period). I can pretty much speak for what your guy would want: a chance. I've been there multiple times, I've been given a chance by a girl and been rejected for a chance by a girl and I have to say the first thing is far better. He treats you well, this means you will be able to stay cool with him if things don't work out and you will have a new experience. If things do work out, well ;) Do you have any tips for me, I'd like her to give me a chance?


What Girls Said 2


    Trust me I dated a guy who I was not attracted to and it did not work out. But your situation could be different. You might see past his looks.

  • Don't do it. Physical attraction IS an important part of the equation. You BOTH deserve to be with someone who thinks you're gorgeous. It would be unfair to him, if you're not into him like he is into you. There is a middle ground and you do have to compromise, there is no perfect person, but the attraction has to be there.

    I would honestly end the friendship if I were you. After all, if he is romantically interested in you, then it really isn't a friendship. I had two guy friends that I was close with and the both wanted more, but it was never going to happen. I know they cared for me, but guess what? As soon as I got engaged it was like 'game over' in their eyes. Even though I NEVER lead them on, they tried for years to get close enough to be to get past the friendship phase. I haven't talked to either of them in over a year now, they no longer want to be my 'friend'.