Theres this guy I'm dating but he creeps me out a lot he uses his family trap me into staying

He says things like his brother is happy to see he's happy because of me and his brother doesn't want to see him get hurt again. He's very emotionaly weak as a person he's very needy and depressed I do want to leave but worry how he will take it and also how his family will take it he's already attempted to kill himself over stuff in his life I know that's weak and I shouldn't have to feel responsible over it if he did but I couldn't help but feel terrible about it as I do care about him he's just a very sick man I also hate to know what his family would be like towards me they would blame me for it I've heard the way they have spoken about his ex girlfriends getting him in a state I know it would be the same story with me. ;( FML...

Updates:
I told him and his family told me if he does anything to harm himself its all my fault I just left he can find another girl to use f*** him and his family.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, not FML ... new mantra is YGAIMR ... that is, you're grown ass isn't my responsibility. You feel trapped and I can completely feel why. I feel very bad for you. He and his family have put a weight on your shoulders that isn't yours to carry. This man needs to work on himself. If he responds negatively to your leaving, that's on him. That's not on you. It's not your responsibility to be his babysitter or codependent anymore. You need to leave. This isn't healthy for you or for him. Here's what I think you should do ... I think you should leave ASAP but in a very openly verbal way.

    Sit his family down & tell them that his emotional wellbeing is his responsibility, not yours. You can't be in a relationship with someone who is so copendent that they might hurt themselves solely because you left them. Tell them that that's not a responsibility you're going to carry nor is it something that you should carry.

    After you talk with them, you tell him it's over. Don't sugarcoat it. Make it black and white. "You and I are not working. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. We aren't going to be dating from this day forward .." Don't stick around for a conversation afterward. Just leave after that. Don't take any of his calls, change your number if you have too.

    Reason I suggest you tell his family first is so that they are aware of the situation and can act accordingly. But don's sugarcoat anything. You have to be blunt. I have a feelings this guy you're seeing can be emotionally manipulative and will probably use all kinds of excuses to see you if he can find them. Don't allow for it.

    Be firm & don't look back. It's not your burden to carry.

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    • Aww thanks hun very good advice I think your so right I think that is the best way to go about it :) I did have a similar idea on my mind.

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    • This only makes it even MORE apparent that you did the right thing. Your fault? They're all messed up. Proud of you.

    • Yes I reckon aye :) no its their fault I'm not letting them use me they obviously didn't generally care about my well-being to even expect such a big thing put on my shoulders. Thanks yeah I pleased to be out of it. :)

What Guys Said 2

  • just do what you have to do

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  • If a guy is weak enough he'd kill himself over a girl leaving him, you're asking for trouble to stay with him, unless you think somehow you can build him up and make him stronger.

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    • I know true no I have problems myself otherwise my mental state will get worse then what it is already.

    • Good. So don't stick with him. It sounds like you got stuck in some sort of twisted game, almost. "If you leave me, I'd kill myself and it'd be your fault." Someone in that mental state shouldn't be dating, he should be on a sofa talking to a guy with a clipboard and lots of letters behind his name.

What Girls Said 3

  • All I can say is that you need to being you, your guy, his family and your family to do a group therapy.

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    • Lol you think that will work

  • I suggest you leave while you can.Don't feel bad about leaving do what you think is right!Don't worry about him killing himself.I highly doubt he will.A lot of guys use the whole I'm depressed or pull the suicide card in order to trap a girl. The sooner you lave the happier you will be.

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    • Yeah your right aye no he's probably full of sh*t.

  • drop him like he's fire in your hands

    thats a very destructive personality, screw how he takes it and how his family takes it you don't deserve to be guilt tripped into staying with someone emotionally unstable and manipulative. its not a bad thing to be depressed, I understand its hard to go through and attempting to kill himself must have been a low point in his life but he can't hold it over you like a threat that he'll do it again if you leave him.

    ive been with someone similar, he didn't use his family against me but he told me he would kill himself and sobbed in front of me every time I tried to break up with him, he was so clingy and obsessive. its not your fault if he does kill himself, its his own and you can't stay just to keep him alive because he will do it anyway eventually maybe years from now maybe a few months, whenever his depression catches up again.

    he will become really possessive and maybe abusive if he thinks youve been out too long or gone somewhere you shouldnt, he will question who you were with and why. I've been through this

    DONT LET HIM TRAP YOU

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    • Your so right girl yes I also had other guys similar in the past I won't his life isn't my responsibility

    • @ update - what a pathetic family, theyre just going to encourage his behavior no wonder he's so bad.

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