How do I start dating if I'm tomboyish?

So I'm kind of a tomboy. The majority of my friends are guys, I play video games, like cars, etcetera things that society feels are masculine hobbies for some reason. The most make-up I wear is eyeliner on occasion and I dress very practically and casually, as in t-shirts, jeans and sneakers.

On top of not being ultra-feminine, I'm also unfortunately somewhat awkward, goofy, and all kinds of downright geeky, which has probably been hurting my chances.

My best friend really likes to watch SimplePickup videos, wherein average guys get really pretty girls, but I only feel bad watching those because I don't feel it works the other way around.

Can anyone give me tips that don't involve me getting a total make-over in everything ever (as in I'm not going to start making myself look like a walking sex object)?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know you so I am not sure how much of this would apply to you. If you want to be approached then you have to look more attractive. You don't have to dress like a slut to dress more attractively. A lady is not just a sex object, and can be found wearing skirts, dresses, or pants. A woman can look attractive and feminine without being a sex object. So you need to work on your clothes and makeup if you haven't already.

    Start with making sure your clothes fit your body in a way that flatters your body shape. Flattering your body does not mean that they are skin tight. It depends on your body shape as to what kind of cloths is best. Then work on color coordinating your clothes so that it helps flatter your skin tones, and depending on how it looks you may need to do something about your hair.

    If you put on makeup correctly you will not look like a whore to men. In fact most guys won't even notice you have makeup on. Guys say they prefer a girl without makeup all the time, even though women soon realize that isn't true. The reason guys think that, is because we simply don't notice if a woman has makeup on, unless she has put it on wrong.

    Then you need to put yourself in a position where a guy will feel comfortable approaching you. If you are hanging out in a group guys are less likely to do that, because we don't want to get rejected in front of an audience. If the only time you go out is with your friends and never separate they could be standing in your way. You could go to a club separate for a while and then rejoin with your friends later.

    If a guy does walk up and try talking to you, but doesn't seem to be hitting on you he may be trying to get a feel for if you like him enough to even bother asking out. Smile, and avoid negative body language. You need to make him feel comfortable around you if he is going to risk getting rejected. Girls unknowingly reject guys during this stage all the time, and have no idea they were even approached. The only guys I know that don't care if they get rejected are players, so most guys that are worth dating need you to make them feel like you are enjoying their company.

    You also need to be honest with yourself. Are you alone because you are a tomboy, or because of your looks. I haven't seen you, but I have met a lot of women that blame their being alone on a lot of things, but refuse to believe it is because they are 250 pounds. You may need to work on your overall fitness.

    If you want to approach a guy then it is similar to the same way a guy approaches a girl. Guys tend to get approached less often get more shy when it finally happens. When someone gets shy they don't feel comfortable around you and put up shields. Their discomfort can make them reject a girl even if they like her. You need to make them feel comfortable, before asking them out. It is very similar to the advice given to men about approaching women.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't change who you are. I personally find girls like you really attractive and very feminine. You think that there's only one way to be feminine and that's where you're wrong. I'm sure there are a lot of guys out there who find you very attractive but you just don't know because you're stuck with that mentality.

    Also, I can attest that any girl who plays video games, is goofy/geeky is a huge turn on.


What Girls Said 3

  • Please Don't change the way you are !

    Not every guys likes feminine glamorous women or average looking girl. There is always someone who will love us the way we are! Don't change yourself for somebody who will not see the true you.

    Hope that I helped you. Good luck:-)

  • I am the exact same way. Don't change. The reason partly why I am dating ny guy us because if my tomboy attitude. I have the best guy friends because of that. Don't suffocate that wonderful spark.

  • I agree with the others, don't change! There are so few girls like us around as it is and a lot of guys are into girls like that anyway. Even if they weren't the right guy will love you for who you are!