I know this sounds terrible. But this guy I have been seeing since April has been talking to other girls.
We're not official, but we practically live together now and he calls me his girlfriend and has introduced me to his family and everyone calls me his gf.
He just said he isn't ready to make a committment (ie. marriage) just yet and doesn't want to make it official until he is ready for that.
Well he left his fb open the other day and it was on a message that he had sent to another girl. He has been talking to her on an online dating site and they were planning on meeting up. He has talked to her as recently as October 16, 2013.
He also has a lock on his phone now, and I had asked him about that and he said it was because someone at work suggested he had one. Well I found out through the message that the girl he was talking to prefers to talk on the phone (through texts). So now I know why.
I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to seem all crazy stalkerish. But I don't really like the fact that he is talking to other girls. He gets jealous when he thinks I might be talking to other guys (which I'm not).
So what should I do? I moved in with him temporarily since I had no place to go (my landlord needed the space that I was renting back, and I was unable to find something in the short time).
So now I come home, cook meals for him and help him with chores and his studies.
I definitely feel like I'm being used. But he has said that he really likes me, but he isn't sure I am the one.He said that he fears that he is doubting it because he's searching for this ideal woman that doesn't exist.
So I don't know what to think. We have been fairly honest and up front with each other about things and this has been the only real secret we have had.
We were considering moving in together, but after what I saw the other day I'm not sure that's a good idea anymore.
We share $$ for groceries and the deal is if I cook meals he has to clean the dishes. So far it's been working.
Most Helpful Guy
The guy you've seen seeing is also the guy you've been living with. When a girl is living with a guy, one thing that is completely out of line and a no-no is his pursuing other girls. If he calls you his girlfriend then you ARE his girlfriend and there's nothing more official than that since couples don't get certificates once they start being girlfriend/boyfriend. His telling you that he isn't ready to make a commitment and telling you your his girlfriend at the same time is a huge conflict so what you really have with him as far as a relationship is absolutely nothing at all! You are being used but remember you moved in since you had no place to go. He said himself that he's not sure you are the one for him which means he's still looking. From now on just consider him a friend and either move out first chance or consider yourself a tenant of his. If you're not paying him rent then consider the things you're doing for him as rent. But don't make any plans of being with him in the future. He can still say he likes you as well as being fairly honest with you when it comes to things that don't concern you. The most important thing between you and him that is completely unsettled is your relationship with him. Don't ever let yourself be used or put in a servant position with a guy because when you do you lose your self-respect and self-esteem and those are too hard to get back. If you don't mind continuing to stay there get it straight with him that it's as a friend and that you plan to move as soon as you can. Meantime, you can continue to cook his meals and help him with his chores since you probably don't pay him rent. DON'T have sex with him as a means of feeling like you're entitled to stay there for free. A person needs to keep their character and morals up during life in order to find happiness and if they don't, they're in for a miserable time. Come to a decision with him and act accordingly and look to your future. Keep your mind positive and Good luck to you!1