I really miss him...

Okay, so I really screwed up. I was dating this guy for a few weeks and really liked him. But last week I was going through a tough time with family problems and I was really stressed out so we didn't hang out much. I wanted to go hang out with my friends on Halloween and told him that I would hang out with him the day after. He was furious that I went out with friends after I hadn't seen him for a week and I said I was sorry but that I needed space and we could hang out tomorrow. He said "You know what? Don't contact me again. Go to hell" so I hung up and then he sent me like three messages saying stuff like "I regret dating you. You're fat and ugly. You're nothing. I am so far out of your league, you have no idea what you had." I didn't respond to any of the text messages and I have not contacted him at all since he told me not to...but I really miss him and the good times we had even though he said all those terrible things...any advice? Did I really screw up so bad that I deserved this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, so he's definitely in the wrong here, but you definitely made a mistake.

    You first. Personally, I, like him, would be upset if my girlfriend chose to hangout with friends after we hadn't seem each other in over a week instead of me. Your mistake: "I need my space."

    In happy relationships, yes, we need time with friends. But after a full week of not seeing each other, you should have missed him enough to at least invite him along. Hearing "I need my space" does indeed insinuate a break from each other, and that's always harsh to hear. You owed him an explanation instead of just saying you wanted space. He does have a right to be upset in that regard.

    However, he was much more in the wrong in terms of his reaction. He should not have insulted you the way he did because he purposely hurt you. He reacted out of anger and wasn't thinking because he was hurt, but that's no excuse. He owes you an apology.

    As it stands, since you haven't contacted him and have ignored his texts, I can guarantee he's thinking you wanted a breakup. After all, you did ask for space and now you have all the space life has to offer.

    Really, there's only one thing you can do, and that is to request a face to face conversation to talk out your problems. If he denies you that conversation, then its time to move on.

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    • I understand what you're saying, but how am I supposed to contact him to ask for a face to face meeting if he told me to never contact him again? I feel like he shouldn't think I wanted to break up because I'm not responding to his messages, he's the one who told me to not talk to him. I would have been willing to talk this out but he flipped out...

    • Guy: never contact me again. Girl: (doesn't contact him). Guy: she must not miss me, I guess she's really okay with moving on. Really, it's a head game. I'm not saying you ask to meet him face to face, I'm telling you to offer it to him. Say, I know you didn't want anymore contact, but if you would like to talk it's your choice. If not, I won't contact you anymore." That puts the ball in his court and delivers an ultimatum...it tells him "bows your chance, take t or leave it."

What Guys Said 5

  • No, you are not in the wrong. He should respect you for wanting to be with your friends and you did say you wanted to spend the next day with him.

    He seems a bit clingy and jealous. But, on the other hand, perhaps he had something special planned for the two of you and you changed his plans.

    Either way, he is acting immature and like a boy.

    If he truly apologizes for his foolish behavior and mean messages, then he's worth your time.

    Otherwise, I'm sure there any many other boys with a bit more sense, and possibly some men out there willing to respect you for wanting to balance friends and an intimate romantic relationship.

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  • I don't think you screwed up. While I think you should have told him some more reassuring words ... but if you needed space you needed space.. even in marital relationships a wife or a husband can't expect their partner to not have '' friends'' time. I think you dodged a bullet really.. imagine if you were married to the guy and you got into a fight.. would this be the answer for each fight you guys have ? such a hurtful outbreak?

    What happened happened for your good.

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  • Why do you miss him after all that he said to you? He is clearly not interested anymore you need to find another man.

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  • No, he's acting like a f***ing baby. Text him and tell him to have fun having sex with his right hand.

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  • IF he calls you all that stuff and you miss him, you too have a problem. Him acting like that and insulting you wasn't called for. You did nothing wrong.

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