Should I just give up?

I met this guy about 5 months ago at my church, and I started becoming properly intereted in him a couple of months later. He seemed really nice, so two weeks after we met I asked him if he had Facebook. He said yes but he hardly goes on it, so he offered me his number. I gave him mine but I didn't have time to get his so I thought he would text me his number soon after. A few weeks later, he said he hadn't been able to call/ text me because of phone problems. I didn't know when his phone would be fixed so I added him on Facebook so I could talk to him. I tried messaging him and he replied but it didn't go very far because of how rarely he comes online. Then sometime in September, I mentioned how I still didn't have his number (but in a casual way). He said he had gotten a new SIM card and had a new number but he didn't know it, and he had no calling credit. He said if I get Whatsapp he can give me his number there but I don't have the type of phone for Whatsapp.

So because of my lack of communicaation with him rather than in person, when I'm with him I tend to walk with him for longer than necessary because I want to talk to him for longer. Sometimes, I will go in a different direction than intended just to carry on walking with him. He seems fine with it, but I don't want to seem annoying or clingy. He's a nice and polite guy, and he makes an effort to talk to me when we're face to face, but I usually come up to him to talk. It may just be me not giving him enough chances to approach me first, but I feel as though if I don't come up to him then he won't come and we won't talk anymore. Sometimes when church finishes, and I can't go up to him because I have to stay behind for a few mins, he just leaves. Am I being needy, and should I give up?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that you give him more than enough reason and opportunities to talk with you. Clearly he can find a way to make regular contact if he wanted to but he doesn't seem motivated to do this. Either he isn't interested in developing things further or he is but he takes it for granted that you will do all the work. In either case I recommend to stop going out of your way to make the effort and only talk to him when opportunities come up naturally, If he makes no effort then to talk, I think you can conclude that he isn't interested.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Does not sound like he is interested sweetie sorry, but if I had gotten a number or fb reply I would make a serious effort if I was interested in the slightest.

    Not to just make you feel better or hopeful but by you acting like you don't care and playing a little game of ignoring him or YOU playing hard to get may spark his fire.

    If not then you'll know for sure ... :/ hugs


What Girls Said 1

  • I would not say you're needy, you just have crush on him and there is nothing wrong with that. However, I feel like he is not as interested in you as you are in him. If he really had an interest in you, he would at least make an effort at walking up to you and starting a conversation and staying a couple more minutes after church to have a conversation with you. I do not feel like you should fully give up, just do not put as much effort anymore. Let him come up to you once in a while. If he is just a shy person in general, then that is a whole different story. So don't text him or call him, let him text or call you.

    • Thanks for answering :) Well, I'm not sure if he's completely shy because he does talk to people but one of our mutual friends said she's told him before that he needs to be more open with people. So maybe that's just his personality, but I still feel a bit annoying coming up to him and wonder if he doesn't come because he doesn't want to talk xx