I'm starting to believe this statement. Let me tell you why. I've been single since September. I was in a long-term relationship before and I'm still looking for a serious relationship. I don't do casual relationships. Since my breakup, I've dated a few guys, I've had a few crushes and I've been surrounded by single men since I'm studying in engineering (80% male). It seems that the men in my surroundings all fit into the following categories:
a) With the same girl since a few years, whom he met before uni or outside of uni.
b) Has a girlfriend that no one has ever heard of
c) Player. Has a list of crazy exes and dates a new girl every week. Wants a booty call but nothing serious
d) Has a major crush on a friend who's not interested or on a girl that he knows nothing about. Has little to no dating experience and no guts with the ladies.
e) Has no crush, doesn't date and whines that girls never go for the nice guys or that none of the few girls around interest him or that there are no girls around. Doesn't do sh*t about it.
I've been my friend's shoulder to cry on for the past weeks. He fit into the d) category perfectly. He'd tell me stuff like that he had never felt so strongly about a girl before, that he knew he'd be heartbroken if she rejected him, that he had never been all over the place like that before, etc. He wouldn't take no for an answer although I let him know (too kindly, apparently) that she didn't reciprocate the feeling. Sure enough, things didn't end great.
Another friend of mine was really into me and I rejected him once things got too far. To this day, I still think "Man, he doesn't know sh*t about me. We're in no way compatible, how could he not see that?". There's also another friend of mine who's in a relationship since almost one year with a girl that I find very boring and to whom I have nothing to talk to about. Keep in mind that I've known her boyfriend for longer than her and that I spend lots of hours per week working on assignments with him. They need to text at least once every 2 hours and they see each other every single day although they don't live together. This guy had her Christmas wish list already today, on Nov 11!
Anyway so all of that to say: Am I fooling myself or is true that a lot of guys below 25 don't ACTUALLY know what they're looking for and are just messing around in relationships? I was whining about that to my 25 y/o friend last week. I told him I was sick of dating guys that only wanted a booty call and he replied "Well you better get used to it cause at that age, that's pretty much all they're looking for. You got a while to go until they start thinking differently". That's a very depressing thought. I even have a girl friend of mine who's gorgeous - all the guys want her - and she insists on staying ''friends'' with a douche all of us (her friends) hate, whom CLEARLY is trying in every way to win her over. She doesn't get why we're all against him and we don't wish to play nice with him.
Most Helpful Guy
Maturity comes with experience and intention. Experiences lead to knowledge about people and oneself . Intentions, when are communicated clearly , assertively, lead to trust . When you trust someone to do what they say you think of them as mature.
I am 36. I have some areas that I am well experienced in and thus mature.. and some areas that I am still experimenting in and gaining experience.
The fact that guys at that age doesn't feel they should settle yet doesn't make them immature. It is just not what they want.
May be you have an above average maturity.. some people have that . Personally I have seen answers for you before and I do think you are a more serious person than your age.
The solution is to meet different guys from different walks of life, states, may be a bit older . Basically meet as many guys as possible outside your immediate social circle.1