Most guys below 25 aren't mature in dating. Do you agree?

I'm starting to believe this statement. Let me tell you why. I've been single since September. I was in a long-term relationship before and I'm still looking for a serious relationship. I don't do casual relationships. Since my breakup, I've dated a few guys, I've had a few crushes and I've been surrounded by single men since I'm studying in engineering (80% male). It seems that the men in my surroundings all fit into the following categories:

a) With the same girl since a few years, whom he met before uni or outside of uni.

b) Has a girlfriend that no one has ever heard of

c) Player. Has a list of crazy exes and dates a new girl every week. Wants a booty call but nothing serious

d) Has a major crush on a friend who's not interested or on a girl that he knows nothing about. Has little to no dating experience and no guts with the ladies.

e) Has no crush, doesn't date and whines that girls never go for the nice guys or that none of the few girls around interest him or that there are no girls around. Doesn't do sh*t about it.

I've been my friend's shoulder to cry on for the past weeks. He fit into the d) category perfectly. He'd tell me stuff like that he had never felt so strongly about a girl before, that he knew he'd be heartbroken if she rejected him, that he had never been all over the place like that before, etc. He wouldn't take no for an answer although I let him know (too kindly, apparently) that she didn't reciprocate the feeling. Sure enough, things didn't end great.

Another friend of mine was really into me and I rejected him once things got too far. To this day, I still think "Man, he doesn't know sh*t about me. We're in no way compatible, how could he not see that?". There's also another friend of mine who's in a relationship since almost one year with a girl that I find very boring and to whom I have nothing to talk to about. Keep in mind that I've known her boyfriend for longer than her and that I spend lots of hours per week working on assignments with him. They need to text at least once every 2 hours and they see each other every single day although they don't live together. This guy had her Christmas wish list already today, on Nov 11!

Anyway so all of that to say: Am I fooling myself or is true that a lot of guys below 25 don't ACTUALLY know what they're looking for and are just messing around in relationships? I was whining about that to my 25 y/o friend last week. I told him I was sick of dating guys that only wanted a booty call and he replied "Well you better get used to it cause at that age, that's pretty much all they're looking for. You got a while to go until they start thinking differently". That's a very depressing thought. I even have a girl friend of mine who's gorgeous - all the guys want her - and she insists on staying ''friends'' with a douche all of us (her friends) hate, whom CLEARLY is trying in every way to win her over. She doesn't get why we're all against him and we don't wish to play nice with him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maturity comes with experience and intention. Experiences lead to knowledge about people and oneself . Intentions, when are communicated clearly , assertively, lead to trust . When you trust someone to do what they say you think of them as mature.

    I am 36. I have some areas that I am well experienced in and thus mature.. and some areas that I am still experimenting in and gaining experience.

    The fact that guys at that age doesn't feel they should settle yet doesn't make them immature. It is just not what they want.

    May be you have an above average maturity.. some people have that . Personally I have seen answers for you before and I do think you are a more serious person than your age.

    The solution is to meet different guys from different walks of life, states, may be a bit older . Basically meet as many guys as possible outside your immediate social circle.

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What Guys Said 8

  • I don't think young men or women know what they want. As such they don't take things all that serious, fumble around in relationships making all sorts of missteps, play games, etc. It takes some time for both genders to learn what they really want and how to get their sh*t together before they start taking relationships serious. Girls are just as or more immature then men when they are 20 somethings.

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  • I think your putting a label on all under 25 year olds which is not fair. I'm looking for a good serious relationship and in only 20. I have never used a girl in my life nor would I. I would only go out with a girl that I truly loved and nothing less then that. You will eventually find the right person who truly loves U. Good luck.

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  • Most people under 25 are immature in dating regardless of gender. A girl under 25 would have to really knock for my socks off for me to consider dating her at this point.

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    • I'd have to agree.Even when I was in my early 30s,I wouldn't give women under 25 any credibility.Those who deserved credibility would be the exception,and rare.I wish I'd been aware of that when I was 25.

  • No I say 21 and up is when guys get mature.

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  • Most guys and women never become mature

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  • IN dating? That's probably mostly correct. OUT of dating? The guys that aren't generally as well received by women? There are good guys everywhere.

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  • Ah, here we go again with the attempt to simplify a topic with generalizations that are easy to remember. Like 50-75% of the questions on this site are people trying to create categories of people for easy reference, but that's just not how human behavior works. People have umpteen number of different possible combinations of traits, intensities of those traits, varying situations that change those traits, and so on.

    These generalizations seem like the norm to many people. But just because many people are making them, doesn't make them any the more true or applicable. So take people as they are, experience them for what they provide to you, and get yourself out of this bad habit of relating certain people to OTHER people. It's a commonly taught trait (granted, it's subliminally taught) but it's a trait that causes more analyzing than what is necessary. Not to mention it taints interaction to where you do 2 things: 1) Project a certain image based on these learned behaviors, and 2) Analyze people to see what category they fit into.

    Stop and enjoy people :)

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  • In all honesty it sounds like you are being far too judgmental. If people don't try to form a relationship, you have a problem with it. If people try to form a relationship and the feelings are not returned you have a problem with it. If people succeed in forming a relationship and you don't approve of their partner, you have a problem with it. You really need to step back and think about the standards you are holding everyone to. Almost no one could meet the expectations you are setting.

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What Girls Said 9

  • No. Just as I tell guys over and over that not all girls like bad boys or douche bags, I will tell you that not all guys who are under 25 are immature in terms of dating.

    Everyone's different to some degree, and certain traits are not restricted to just one gender, or just one age group. To lump people together like that won't do any good. It only makes you seem very judgmental and narrow-minded. What are you going to do when you do meet a guy who's under 25 that doesn't match up to this statement? Because somehow I feel like that's bound to happen.

    Yes, I agree that there are a lot of people out there who don't know what they want, play games and fool around. But, there are people of all ages that do it. Some more than others.

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  • It depends completely on the guy. I've met 29 year olds that were worse than 19 year olds when it came to dating. I know 22-23 year olds are that very mature when it comes to dating. Age has little to do with it. I think culture and social demographics mean a lot more.

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  • I've met extremely mature people under the age of 21. It all depends on the person.

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  • I'd say 21 and below... I've met guys who were 21-23 and very mature.

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  • Some are not even close to being mature even they hit their 30s!

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  • The things you mention aren't necessarily maturity related and are just things you have to deal with in dating at any age .

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  • dont agree my boyfriend is 23 and when we were just "dating" I chickened out and said I wasn't ready for anything and he said to me that he only does relationships he doesn't just hookup with girls he is too old for that. we are now a couple. he is one of the most muture guys I know.

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  • Sounds about right.

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  • YES I agree but a lot of over 25 year olds aren't mature either:/

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