Should I still be dating this guy?

I have been dating this guy for 1.5 years, almost 2It just seems like a boring relationship. we haven't moved in together yet. he's Catholic. I feel like we are going no where in terms of jobs, stages in life, work. I work more than he does. I find him to care a lot about his family and not mine. I keep asking myself 'can I do better?' I feel heartless asking this but I am annoyed at the fact he can't afford to even get married, have an average wedding, buy a condo, he works minimum wage...I keep waiting and waiting. he doesn't seem to like being pushed. Should I or shouldn't I? I feel like I should date other people. I'm constantly doing things. Am busy, I don't have time for his family events. Despite the fact we have been both dating for almost 2 years, there is no picture of us together on their dining room walls, yet there is one of their younger daughter and boyfriend and their other daughter. So I wonder sometimes, what it means to them? My family doesn't like him, I don't like his family too much but I'm polite. They are polite also. But at this point, he isn't impressing me except for the fact he's been good emotional support. Point is, he says he's 'tired of me nagging' but I feel this relationship is going nowhere. I'm his first girlfriend and we were engaged. I just don't feel I should be engaged to someone who has no money to get married or who hasn't gotten another job to help support his goals or have goals.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You sound like you two are perfect for one another.

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What Girls Said 1

  • No you aren't being harsh, why should he have his way over all the relationship and you get none of your needs met. Relationships are about give and take. I recently went through a similar quandary like you. I was with my Christian boyfriend for 9 months, when we got together he suffocated me completely, and I lost a lot of friends but I thought he was worth it because we would marry. As time went on every time I spoke about the future he would brush me off. Like your boyfriend his family were far more important than mine. He made out his family were nicer than mine. They also would go on about their youngest sons girlfriend as if she was a goddess and they kept calling her a keeper and had loads of pictures of her none of me. They were polite but not overly enthusiastic. Sounds a bit like your story. In the end although he was emotionally supportive, I had a chat with him about where things were going and he basically just said that there is no sign of a serious future commitment at the moment. I was devastated, I had put my all into this relationship. Whilst I was crying he bluntly said it is too soon to move in together and too soon to marry and basically I had to deal with it.

    At that point I realized he was getting his way over everything and I dumped his ass, he did not respect me or my feelings or what I wanted to happen at all, but in the mean time he still wanted sex and comfort from me. I was exactly the same, he didn't take me anywhere, he didn't get me anything on Valentine's day, we would just sit in his flat whilst he played on his laptop and I watched tv. It was as if he was just keeping me entertained. It was so boring. After I broke up with him he got a new girlfriend 4 weeks after and he treated her like a princess. Sorry didn't mean to bore you with my story but I just wanted to let you know what I did in the situation.

    You are right to question this guys motives, especially after this many years. I'm sorry but if you aren't what he wants now, is another year going to make him change his mind about getting married? Or will it get to a point that you have just been together so long he won't know what else to do so he marries you. You don't want that. You deserve someone who wants you for you, not because he has run out of options. And although it doesn't seem important now, please take note of how his family treat you, this will not get better, it will get worse.

    I would not put up with anymore of his crap. Have the talk with him and end it. If he truly loves you he will fight for you. If not walk away and find a REAL man!

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