Should I continue to text my ex?

I broke up with my ex 5 years ago and other than the "Happy birthday" wishes he sends me every year at midnight (he's thoughful like that), we haven't had much contact. Except recently, I've had recurring thoughts of him and so I sent text messages to him asking him how he is. We texted for quite a bit. From his text I could tell that he still remembered many little things about me, and that he still cares for me. He said that if I needed anyone to talk to, that he's right there. Problem is, both of us know that there's no way we're getting back together due to the circumstances... so my question is, should I continue to text him and be there for him as he is for me, as good friends (though clearly we have feelings for each other), or should I just not text him anymore and well, move on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • IF you are not pursuing other guys and not trying to date because you are comfortable with this "relationship" with your ex, then "YES", you should stop texting and move on.

    If you are dating and just being friendly with your ex as a friendship, then keep texting.

    • I have moved on, but still think of him every now and then. If you were him, would you mind me texting you? Would it dig up memories and make it worse?

    • It really all depends on the circumstances of the breakup. If you cheated on me, you can eat a bag of dicks. If we just decided we couldn't date, I'd be OK with the interaction.

    • Yeah, we parted on good terms. It was all down to being in a long distance relationship and we had dreams and plans of our own. I still care about him a whole lot and if I lived where he lived or vice versa, I never would have let him go. Thanks for your advice!


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What Guys Said 1

  • What are your "circumstances" that will not allow you to be with him? Anything can be worked through, if you guys are both willing to work through it.

    • We broke up because after many years of long distance relationship and difference in lifestyle, we couldn't really see what was ahead of us. But we parted amicably and that's why we still keep in contact. But it's been years since our breakup and I still think of him once in awhile.

    • So talk to him. Like I said, you can work through it if you really want too. Especially if distance isn't the issue now.

    • Thanks, man. Appreciate your advice :)

What Girls Said 4

  • It depends on how you feel about it. If it will be torture to just be his friend knowing you have feelings for him (and he for you) and it hurts your feelings/makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. But if you are able to compartmentalize your feelings you can continue to talk to him.

    Maybe the best thing to do is not go towards one extreme or the other but to only talk to him occasionally.

  • I would say no harm in this as long as you both are single. If you are with someone else but have feelings for another, these should be addressed. There is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone that you shared a relationship with, bu if it is bringing up frequent thoughts in your mind, there may be more there than either of you have really acknowledged.

    Being there for someone is what friendship is all about, and You shouldn't have to "kill" a friendship unless it is interfering with something now.

    I hope this helps!

    • It does help. Thanks!

  • girl if your past relationship is good before it doesn't go the point to end it right? so you both agree to end that for sake of both sides.of course he still remember you for 5 years relationship?better to be friends but if you're both meant to each other, let the time knows what happen next.

  • I don't know should you? Or do you let your friends and family and random people make your choices?