Will he ever like me again?

I was going out with a guy from Apr-Aug of '08. We knew from the get go that we would be moving out to the east coast (him - philly Aug, me - NY Nov), so it was agreed from the start it would b a temporary, and later, exclusive relationship.

At first, I wasn't emotionally too invested because 1, I didn't see the point in making it a relationship since we were both going to leave, and 2, the fact that he only split from his ex roughly 2 months prior to us going out wasn't sitting well with me. He pursued me really hard for the first month that we were together. As we continued dating, I started to emotionally attach myself to him, I was really happy. Fun time together, lots of laughs, we were compatible, he was so attentive and thoughtful, I started to believe how could we not try this out when we both move out east?

But during the few weeks leading up to his departure, I saw the shift in his behavior. I felt like he lost interest in me. The way he looked at me was different. Not shocking, but still surprised me , I revealed I wanted to try it out when we both move out east...he didn't. I was horribly disappointed, but my pride wouldn't let me be upset, so I pretended it didn't bothered me as much. We talked about visiting each other.

He first moved to Philly in Aug, and then I moved to NY in Nov. When he first left, it was emotionally hard for me back at home. Our communication was infrequent, maybe once a week via e-mail or aim. He sent me a b-day gift in sept. But everything was different. He addressed me differently. He used to call me his "sunshine" or "hun" and replaced it with "kiddo" or "girl". I was obsessed over the thought, for months, that maybe he started dating someone else (which I later learned he wasn't). I visited him in Philly 1/09, learned he started having feelings for his ex again (they met in Philly '06,before I was in the picture. She actually lives in Mich now). He reached out to her around Oct. and started talking 2 her again, and that was about the time I noticed how distant he was to me. I couldn't pretend anymore then. I actually cried and told him how hard it was for me. He said that when we were together, he largely was over her but now that he's living in Philly, old memories are triggered. I asked him if he ever saw a future with us when we were going out, he said he never had that feeling with me. 2 this day, I'm still a little upset over all this because I was so careful when we were together to not misread any of his actions. Trying not to play the blame game, but his words/actions led me to believe we were on the same page. Now I feel somewhat duped because I feel used, he never got over his ex. It's frustrating knowing he still keeps our album up, but has her in his heart. What's worse is that I'm still not over him.

My big question is will he ever like me again? I'm back home in LA and foolishly hope that when he moves back in 2 yrs, maybe we'll have another shot. When a guy moves on, are there no 2nd chances?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think there is much of a chance. Two years is a long time to be apart from someone. So much changes in that time frame. Especially if your younger than thirty. I would just try your best to move on. You can't count on it happening, you might miss out on a better guy waiting.

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What Girls Said 1

  • There are always second, third, and so many chances a person can rebuild there love for someone again. If he told you he had no feelings for you and used you then he shouldn't even be a guy who you would want to take another chance with. You were basically his rebound and that doesn't sound fair. You definetely should find someone who can trully be real with you and won't use you. Its hard knowing that to them you weren't as much as they were to you. He isn't good for you it sounds like. You should date around and in time you will get over him. I suggest you not to wait around for this guy. He sounds pretty emotionally unstable.

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