Need I look for a military man?

My dear friend Anna,we talk to each other for everthing,use the same brand of perfume,wear the same pair of shoes.But recently,she's met a militaty man on kissmilitary.com(a military dating site),we still stay together for a long time,but I know she also needs time to date with her guy.What should I do? Need I find a man on that site,i'm also interested in military,then we four can have a date together!How do you think? Is there any problem here?Or that just my jealousy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • any time someone gets into a relationship for some reason it's difficult to maintain friendships with single friends. But that's no reason to rush into a relationship yourself, and the idea of limiting yourself to a 'military' guy sounds a little clingy. sorry. I realize you probably have a significant history, but it'll be a year before there is a chance of her having the free time to hang out again (unless there is some kind of break in the relationship or something, which is quite possible - military guys move around a lot).

    You could just wait it out. That would be my advice. But if you actually want to be in a relationship, then go for it. But I wouldn't settle for a military guy.

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What Guys Said 15

  • I think you're getting jealous and competitive with your friend. Girls are known to get like this in many areas, especially if their friends get married... suddenly they need a husband too. Main things I hear about military men is that they are only around for a short period of time depending on what they do in the military. Then you only get that limited time with him and off he goes. I've also read stories about them hooking up and bailing since they know they're only gonna be around for a short time.

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  • You need to understand that the military life comes with a lot of instability. You move around a lot, often have a lot less control of where you go, where you live when you're there, and many other things. Military guys may be away for long periods of time on deployments, and they can have a lot of difficulty trying to readjust to normal life after a year's deployment into a warzone where their lives are literally at risk almost every minute.

    And of course, some are killed and more are injured, often severely.

    There are positives too, of course, but if you decide to be with a military man, you need to understand the huge sacrifices you will need to make in order to stay with him. It's a rough life, and the divorce rate is quite high. I have huge respect for those who stay together, because it's a tough go.

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  • Based on what I've experienced in the military I'd not recommend it, nor will I ever date someone from the military. The vast majority of them are not at all faithful, there are of course exceptions but they're few and far in between.

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  • As of former Navy sailor, I can tell you this, military guys ALWAYS have single friends because there aren't usually enough girls to go around in military towns. Don't be afraid to ask if he has any single friends. Ask questions about the friend and scrutinize him just like you would any guy. Military guys are still guys, so be sure to look for a nice one.

    Just because your friend is dating a military guy doesn't mean you have to, but it does open this possibility of there being a nice guy he knows.

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    • Think she just misses her friend. It must be a new relationship and he's taking all of her time in what's called the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship, where everything is new and exciting and that means she never gets to see her friend. So I think she uses the excuse of "I want a military man too" to make up for it

  • Maybe you can join the military and then double date together if you can get assigned to the same unit?

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  • guys in the military are just like everyone else. There are good and bad people in the military, just because a man wears a uniform and goes off to war means nothing as far as him being better in a relationship that a civilian man. Stereotypes like this are silly and you should just date a guy that is for you rather than just a man in uniform.

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  • Give her and a fella some space right now. Go get you a military guy it that's what you want and enjoy his company. Run the suggestion of a double date across them and see what they say. Don't go get a guy then pop up on them. You both are bringing new people into your already existing relationship, let her fell him out first who knows he may have a single military buddy that you can date.

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  • What's so great about military men? They are just like regular men except that they can probably do more push ups than average and shoot a rifle moderately well.

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  • why do you think you need a military man?

    Why not just get a local guy, maybe a store manager or something?

    If you want a military guy because of the abs, then that would make you shallow.

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  • Don't be silly, the military is more about finishing the mission on hand. Not love connections let me tell you.

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  • Best to do your own thing at this point. If you search for a military man as well, your friend might interpret it as you trying to snatch her catch away.

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  • Most if not all are violent and have PTSD and they cheat. It actually sounds quite immature to me, trust me they're not good for relationships.

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    • Wow, this is the most idiotic thing I have seen all day. I am military and I do not have PTSD and neither do many of my friends who are in the military as well. Do not judge all based on the actions of a few.

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    • wow really, way to stereotype every person in uniform. Kind of like saying all men are pigs and to avoid dating or talking to them. Narrow minded individuals like yourself are the problem with the world. If you knew anything about PTSD you would know that not everyone has it; violent? Really have you even been around anyone in uniform? you have no respect for men and women in the services or any veterans. I don't see you defending your country, gives us more respect than that kid

    • Don't put words in my mouth, I never said any of that. I guess I don't know much about PTSD then, I assumed since my dad had it and he was in the Marines, in fact I come from a long line in a military family...what's left of it, my mom was Navy, grandmother Navy, I can't join since I'm the only surviving child in my family. Nobody has any greater respect for this country and the military than I do.

      And you do have a point I've never been around anyone in uniform. Sorry sir.

  • Yes its just a reaction you will over come it in some time -- you're her friend.

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  • aren't you afraid a military man can be aggressive?..

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  • Men are men no matter where you find them. Find a good man for the sake of being happy and that is all.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Even if you're close with your friend and the two of you are very similar, you shouldn't feel pressured to meet a guy just because she has a boyfriend. Let it happen naturally. Meeting a man from the military like she did just so you all can go on dates together isn't wrong but it does sound a bit awkward.

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  • Get into a relationship for the right reasons.

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  • I wouldn't recommend them as many are not faithful. There are other guys in other industry too why not look at them

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  • That's sounds good! kissingmilitary. com is a good dating website.

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  • well yeah, I think you need to get a life.

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  • Sure, why not?

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