Do men actually believe that girls want to date jerks?

First, I will start by saying that there are women who do only date jerks. I'll give you an example: one of my best friends. Her dad left, her brother left, and her first boyfriend cheated on her. Every male in her life was mean. Mean boys is all she knows. So she's stuck in a cycle of being attracted to mean guys because it's all she ever knew. It's really sad, and it makes me feel awful for her. Women who had bad male role models in her life will typically be attracted to men that are also bad.

Most girls don't want complete jerks. I don't get why when a guy gets rejected he thinks it's because he was too nice? No, she rejected you because she doesn't have anything in common with you, she thinks you're ugly, she thinks you're dumb, she doesn't want a boyfriend, etc. Why would a girl want to reject a nice guy who is good looking, smart, and ambitious? Makes no sense. I don't know where this idea came from.

If women do date jerks and they didn't have that bad male role model in her life thing, she probably doesn't know he's a jerk yet. Like I have dated a few jerks because I didn't know them. They were nice at first and then transformed into jerks when they got comfortable. Too bad jerks don't have signs on their foreheads that say "Warning: Do not date me I am an a**hole"

Also, some girls don't care if a guy is a jerk if he's just a hook-up. If she's only hooking up with him, she probably doesn't care about his personality much, probably if he's just cute.


0|0
2|10

Most Helpful Girl

  • If they do, they're probably just in denial and not willing enough to be humble and admit why women generally don't want them. So instead, they just mislead themselves into truly believing that women want jerks. But in actual reality, there's something about them as an individual that women typically are unattracted to. Because even if most women were miraculously, idiotically interested in jerks exclusively, if they were really that desirable, some woman somewhere out there would want them

    1|0
    0|3

What Guys Said 10

  • No. Most of the guys who believe that and constantly whine about it on here are just bitter. But, to be fair, a lot of woman believe in a lot of illogical things about men (he broke up with me because I showed too much interest, I didn't make him chase me enough, I kissed him on the first date, etc.). I generally think though that, as you imply about men who believe women want to date jerks, those women do it after a break up to protect their egos.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I find that a lot of women call almost all of their exes jerks anyway (even if they're not), which leads guys to believe that she dated all jerks!

    • Lol you know that's a good point.

  • If they're into the bar scene, they'll see girls hooking up with a**holes and see it so often that it becomes their perception overall. If they would stay away from places where people are drunk all the time, they'd realize other types of girls do exist. But if you look at the age ranges here, 20-30ish is filled with kids who assume girls like the "bad boys" because they see it every weekend.

    The other issue is that there are so many girls who have the "change a guy" syndrome. These types of girls see guys as "projects" and want to try to change them. So if a guy goes around womanizing, they'll see it as a challenge. The problem is that it's a fail-fail situation for the girl. If she can't change him, she'll get her p**** pounded and become the most badmouthed slut on campus when he goes around bragging about how he f***ed her. If she does change him, she'll get bored of him. There's "nothing to work on." It's a stable relationship, she hates those(but publicly claims not to her for image).

    The thing for the "nice guys" is that they have too many social flaws stemming from their isolated lives. They'll meet a girl, immediately start emotionally investing in them, and come on so strongly to the point where the girl wants to puke. Typical examples are immediately giving gifts, "I love you" texts, automatic jealousy the first time the girl talks to a male, excessive texting, and so on. Now after being "friend zoned" she talks to another guy... that guy is the immediate "bad boy" to this insecure guy.

    0|0
    0|0
    • My ex said "I love you" after 3 days of going out... He wound up assaulting me and threatening me (and his own self) with death later on. So I stay away from guys who say "I love you" after a week and are so clingy because I'm afraid of that happening. A lot of girls do the same for good reason I mean look what happened!

      Yeah, my friend has change a guy syndrome..so lame. I don't. I'd rather date somebody who I like already without wasting my energy to change him!lol

  • No, we don't believe they WAnt to date jersk..it's jsut tht guys with money often tend to be jerks, and women want to date..pretty much, only the guys with the money.

    And then, as you say, many women ahve father issues...and they find affection from absent or abusive men makes up for amissing father...I'm not a qualified psychologist, and of course that's way oversimplified, but I agree that explains why many women ahve this fatal attraction to guys who will abuse them.

    But there are ten dold-diggers for every one with father issues.

    0|1
    1|0
    • well if the guy is a jerk he deserves to get his gold dug :D

  • No, I'm not that moronic...

    2|0
    0|0
  • I don't believe that some girls think "that's guy's a jerk and I find that attractive". The reason I believe that some (not most) girls are attracted to jerks is because those girls say that all guys are jerks since every guy they've ever been with is a jerk. I've heard this comment over and over again. That doesn't tell me anything about the nature of guys. It tells me who that girl is attracted to. We all have had bad experiences with people who were very different than they seemed at first. But when someone ends up with the same kind of hurtful person every time, it suggests they are attracted to that type of person for whatever reason.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes they do.

    It's not entirely true. But if you (erroneously) categorize the world into nice guys and jerks, only the jerks get anywhere.

    In reality some women really go for jerks. Other women go for confident guys who go after what they want and hope they're not jerks. A problem is that the way a lot if boys have been brought up they are told that a lot of normal dating behavior or reasonable grown up behavior is being a jerk. Now true jerks ignore all that and date fine. But it takes guys who actually are nice a while to decide for themselves what is and isn't okay and separate jerk from assertive.

    I have to say that on too of that guys do sometimes seem to have better 'jerk radar' then girls. This may come from having had to recognize them since childhood.

    0|1
    0|0
    • what girls want is someone confident, assertive, and ambitious but nice to her.

    • Yes, I'm aware of that. Unfortunately we don't actually raise boys to end up that way, so many of them reach their late teens as either overconfident, narcissist jerks, or nervous-about-sex and overly careful doormats. So girls date the former and the latter figure 'girls like jerks'. There are literally so few 'confident assertive ambitious and nice' guys that other guys can't even see them being successful. That and they have often been told that being assertive is 'being a jerk'.

  • some men are just angry that they can't get women so they develop a nasty attitude and conclude women only want alpha-male jerks. its a sad rut to be in.

    but these guys are irrational. don't try to reason with them.

    1|1
    0|2
  • Men have to go by what they've seen all around them in life! No one can escape from reality! A woman clearly explains who most girls are actually dating in the attached video link. SHE TELLS THE TRUTH!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESYK8fCEHUQ

    0|0
    0|0
    • Everyone on GAG should see this video! It exposes the TRUTH about the douche bag, jerk, bad boy, asshole men that women are choosing!

  • Well, you've really answered your own question. Some girls do want jerks.

    I would say that to some extent all girls want jerks. Being masculine means being assertive, strong, etc. That is often viewed as being jerky. And most girls want masculine guys.

    I've certainly had more success with girls since I've become jerkier. I'm much less nice than I used to be. When I was a nice guy, I didn't have any success.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I can relate in many ways. My parents disliked me. I did not get along with my siblings, and girls were very mean through out my years in school. I don't know what love is and I doubt I will ever! I can only see women as (hateful, I'm better then you, You will never feel how it is to be loved) type. It's what I've seen and experienced with women my whole life. So yeah, it's actually very hard trying to picture a girl with a good heart!

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • Girls do fall for jerks a lot

    0|2
    0|0
    • probably because she doesn't know how much of a jerk he actually is

    • I agree. That used to be me.

    • also as we get older a lot of people stop the "i'm such a cool guy (is a jerk" act and it becomes easier to find nice people!

Loading...