Why would she back off or ignore me?

A friend introduced me to a girl while out one night. The events led up to us not exchanging numbers initially. She actively found me on FB a month or 2 later and we started talking/seeing each other. We hit it off well and naturally everything went well. She hung out w my friends and I the first time we hung out, I took her to a wedding the second, I took her out to dinner one night and after ended up at my place, she joined me at a family gathering for my nieces birthday. She verbally told me she enjoyed hearing from me and that it was "refreshing to meet a person like me" and that she is totally "into me". She likes that I'm a womans man and my traits. We had talked usually everyday, texting and sometimes at night on phone. We have only rounded 2nd base. I respect/like her. It's only been about a month since we've started dating and she's already backed off a bit. This last wknd she went on a trip out of state for her birthday and we kept in touch throughout but I gave her her space. Everything was still in place and just fine. I sent her a nice birthday video text which she appeared to like and thank me for. I then asked her to text me if she wanted to later on. her reply "I'll def text you soon". Never got a text that night so next day I sent her a message that said "thinking about you". she finally replied hours later saying she was thiking about me too and the reception was bad and that she had been flying today. I'm thinking, okay that sounds reasonable, no big deal right. So I reply an hour later and then again got no response. So now I'm thinking, she's tired from the flight and could be asleep. I don't talk to her for the next 2 days until she sends me a big thank you for the flowers I'd sent her for when she returned to work. Smiley faces and excitement was in her texts and she said she" wasn't used to anyone putting that much effort into her :)". Everything seemed fine so I invited her to a concert for the wknd which some of her friends were gonna be at. She said she "would love to go but had to think about Friday". So then I text her later that night and ended up being too playful and crossed the line by disrespecting her. I quickly manned up and apologized for being rude. She ignored me till the next day and then text "its OK, she was confused and thought I was drinking and telling her things to be mean". I replied saying not at all that I was just in a playful mood and then asked a question. Once again no reply all day. So today (concert day) I ask if she is still up for having some fun tonight. guess what...yeah ignored! I know its still so early but WHY WOULD SOMEONE SO INTO AND OPEN TO ME JUST UP AND SHIFT DIRECTION? I can only think its either a game, or she is so into me she's scared or she's annoyed or needs her time or her ex contacted her on birthday (5 mo. ago break up) or a combination of those. If your into the astrology thing I'm a capricorn and she's a scorpio. Please any help or feedback would be appreciated. Thanks!

I plan on just letting it be and waiting for her to contact me. Perhaps she'll talk to me when she's ready? I'm bummed and really hopeful. Advice or insight would comfort me


Most Helpful Girl

  • yeah not into astrology at all that's all bs lol. Let her initiate a text message because no girl likes being pushed into responding that's a big turnoff. I'm sorry for the big shift though but what did you say? By that time how long have you two known each other? Try and reflect and see if she'd had any trouble with that from her past because that's also something that could trigger the ignoring game. I'm sorry things are rocky right now but it'll get better. Best of luck!

    • I regretfully joked around with her about the way her body looks (which totally turns me on FYI). I know it's messed up and I only meant to tease but as I mentioned, quickly realized I took it too far and apologized sincerely. She clearly got upset and short w me right off the bat. Only really known her for a month by that time. Would you say I should wait for her to initiate contact or should I express my concern to let her know I care? Or would you think the ex came around because of her birthday?

    • Where did her ex come from? I'd wait and let her cool off


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What Girls Said 2

  • She might be uncomfortable with how nice you are. And you being mean so soon probably made things weird for her. I know you didn't mean to. I would lay off a bit. If she likes you, she will miss you and say something. Don't let her start to joke to her friends about "that stalker guy", just because your texting her and she's not answering. You wouldn't deserve the stalker label but girls give it out easily and once it's yours its yours. I would just find another girl to send flowers to:)

  • If you're dating, I don't see what's wrong with just asking her what the problem is (not exactly in those words, obviously). Tell her you're concerned. I think she would understand.


What Guys Said 1

  • "I don't know what's going on. Things were going fine you and I. I'm not going to press for an answers; but whenever you're ready to talk, give me a call."