Need honest answer - Would non-deaf girls date deaf guys?

I'm 29 years old, and I'm a guy. I've heard of girls saying that they would date me, despite me having a hearing loss. But I've never had any luck. Why does it seem like I'm subtly being lied to? The girls that said they would date me are already dating (or are married to) someone else. Don't sugarcoat the answer. I've gone on a few dates with a few girls (from online), but nothing has panned out. I ask, because this has been eating away at me for a while, especially at my self-esteem. I'm very attractive, but I have gained a few pounds since high school. But I'm not overly overweight. I will admit, I can be shy sometimes - okay, most of the time. However, once I get to know someone, I can jump out of my shyness state. But I'm the easiest person to get along with. I've never had a relationship, and I'd like to break that "streak". I have a job, my own house (with a mortgage, of course), my own truck, and I'm looking for a future with a family. I come from a family of 5, me being the youngest.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • How would deaf change anything? As long as you can communicate property. Seriously being deaf would not be the reason I wouldn't date you. Legit no sugar coat. Are you sure things arnt working out because your deaf or because other reason because I think that would be strange for girls to not date you because you couldn't hear. Could you always not here or did you just lose it ?

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    • That's the only thing that comes to mind, besides maybe me being shy. But I'm working on it.

      I've always had hearing loss, pretty much since a young boy (believed to be hereditary). I'm the only hard of hearing kid in my family (with my parents and siblings).

    • Show All
    • Most of the time, if a woman starts talking to me, I don't quite hear what she says at first. After I give her my attention, I can communicate very well (lip-read mostly). If I miss what she says, she says nevermind, like she doesn't want to repeat what she said. Like I said, I will work on my shyness.

    • Yes, I know what you mean about people being born deaf that speak differently. I can speak very well. It's my hearing that "slows me down" with people. I do have hearing, but I use hearing aids to utilize any of the hearing I have left. I can hear very well, as long as my attention and concentration is 100% on whomever/whatever I want to hear. Otherwise, if there are multiple people talking, then that becomes more complicated. I try to expand my attention, so that I can hear more than one person

What Girls Said 6

  • Please take me seriously right now, because I seriously love this question. You said not to sugar coat it? Good. I wouldn't anyway. YES I would date a deaf guy. That sounds awesome. Just being people with each other...no words...just looks and gestures? Sounds like romance! Words get in the way. I'm sort of thinking it'd be awesome if my boyfriend was deaf now. That'd be so cool. BUT, if the guy was too shy, that would take the fun out of it for me. It wouldn't be a sweet awkward to be with him anymore, it would just be awkward. If you are going out, make the first few dates fast paced. It'll make the change for her a more easy transition. Like paintball shooting, bowling, arcade, drinks and dancing. Later do museums, movies, and sit down dinners. Then she will get the opportunity to see what just sitting in silence with you is like. Which would be MY favorite part! I might actually see if I can get my boyfriend to agree to go mute with me for a few days. I understand you aren't mute, but if someone is deaf, I assume there is little talking.

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    • Thanks for the honest answer. I can definitely work on my shyness. Thanks for the tip! I'm not mute, by the way. Although, I'm no hater of silence by any means.

  • ooh dear , no I don't think it is a big problem at all , why don't you use those tiny speakers that are hidden in the ears ? my uncle uses one of them and he can hear very good , I guess what is making you self conscious is maybe that you are a bit overweighted , I tell you something , people will forgive any flaw but nobody tolerate over weight , so work on yourself a bit , hit the gym and stuff and then start dating

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  • I would, but I'm really hard of hearing without my hearing aides so I consider myself deaf without them in. My husband is hearing, you just have to find the right person :), best of luck to ya :))

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  • yes I will date and I meant it

    i look at your heart

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  • Yes they would. My friend is not deaf and he has a beautiful girlfriend who is deaf. She learned sign language and they are both happy as ever together.

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  • I had a massive crush on a deaf friend years ago, but he didn't like me back :-(

    Of course I'd date a deaf guy. Yes, there would be some things I'd have to enjoy alone like music, but I already almost always watch movies/TV with subtitles (no idea why, just a quirk), and I know some sign language, although I would want to get much better at it if I was dealing with someone regularly.

    The friend I had a crush on before, Eric, he had a small device, smaller than a smartphone that he typed things out on and handed to people. They'd type back, it was his way of communicating with people who didn't know sign language. It was also before smartphones, haha! So yeah.

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    • I'm sorry that he didn't like you back. I love music, too. All kinds of music. I watch TV and movies with caption, as well - at least when it's available. Otherwise, it's more difficult to follow the movie/show. I know a little bit of sign language. I took an ASL course a few years ago. I'm not sure what the small device is that you are referring to. Thanks for answering, sparrow24!

What Guys Said 2

  • Are you completely deaf? I can see that many girls would find that a challenge. It would be harder to communicate to you.

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    • No, I'm not completely deaf. I wear hearing aids, which helps a whole lot. I can hear probably just the same as a hearing person, except in noisy situations (noisy bar, stadium, restaurant, etc). But if I didn't wear hearing aids, then yes. I probably would be pretty much considered completely deaf. That's why it would be hard for me to meet a woman at a bar or other noisy establishment - not that I would prefer to meet a woman at a bar necessarily.

    • I would suggest finding other avenues to meet girls, then. Online dating is a tough business for a guy. Get out and find some activities (like a running club or service club) that will expose you to girls in person in a non-bar type scene.

    • I agree that most women may find it as a challenge, which is disappointing to me. I would love to find a woman that is willing to face that challenge with me and prove that it's not a challenge, because I don't think it has to be.

  • Well.
    that's pretty problem situation and my brother is Deaf (30 old) never having a relationship
    and that he doesn't shy away from dating to hearing girls are still UNCOMFORTABLE
    a sec also he is already dated in Deaf girls are so STUBBORN
    just he's quiet and unlike dating any other kind of women's over 30 old, single mother, friendzone, etc.

    sad.

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