Firstly, I firmly believe that it is extremely unfair that the man is ALWAYS expected to pay for dates. Of course he should pay for the first date if he has asked her out and maybe for the next couple of dates. But if they decide to proceed further, they should either go dutch, split the bill or pay for alternate dates.
Anyway, I just wanted to know that this norm which says 'the man should always pay' holds true even if a man and a woman hang out only as friends, and its not a date. In my case, I do have quite a few female friends (most of them don't know each other), so I used to hang out with them (I mean, with one girl at a time) often without those being dates. But I was shocked to realize that most of them expected me to pay even though they weren't dates. In fact, they never even offered to pay or do stuff like reaching for their purse. I could make out that they felt as if the 'man should always pay' norm is actually a rule set in stone, irrespective of whether its a date or a friendly hangout. I certainly wouldn't mind going dutch in those circumstances, but I was obviously offended by their behavior. Needless to day, now I hardly, if ever, hang out with women unless its a date or I'm in a group of men and women.
So what do you people feel about it? Should the man ALWAYS pay even if it is not a date, just because his friend happens to be a woman?
Most Helpful Girl
It's a real shame this nearly stopped you from hanging out with women. I can only say that there are a lot of women out there who will not even expect you to pay on the first date.
Personally, I only accept for a man to pay for me if
a) the sum is very small. For example, if a man buys me a drink at the pub (even so it has to be someone I know, but that is more to do with the fact that I am not single/seeking).
b) we know each other well and their gift will be reciprocated (e.g. the next drink is on me or if it's a dinner, I'll take my male friend out next)
I have a lot of male friends and although they are always perfectly gentlemanly (say, they will buy me a drink if I don't have any money), I see it is a matter of trust that I don't abuse their generosity and reciprocate it in any way I can.
Generally speaking, I'd say half/half is the fairest option.0
Most Helpful Guy
i don't see any reason why I should be paying for non-dates food or fun. If I can afford it and especially if the friend may not be in the best financial situation I'll offer but I'm not just paying for any and everyone
As for dates. I have no problem paying for dates. I do have a problem if a woman expects to be paid for. it is one of the great issues I see with most women who are feminists or at least believe in equal treatment. The notion that they should be treat as equals but also have their way paid for is inherently flawed. Now I think most women don't expect to be paid for and consider themselves feminists but I have come across a few and it is incredibly unattractive0