basically she got out of a 2 year relationship about 2 months ago. I know she likes me, we hang out a lot, make out, sleep together, shower together etc.. I want to be in a relationship with her but she says she doesn't want that right now. sometimes I feel like she wants to because she will hold my hand or mention things about us dating just things that people would do if they were dating. I just don't know what to do. should I just stop doing what I'm doing because I'm setting myself up for disappointment. I mean we aren't dating so she is free to do what she wants but I always think about her and other guys together. Should I stop what I am doing and basically tell her once she is ready to be in a relationship come to me and if I feel the same then we can date? what would you do?
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Does she like you or is she afraid of being alone?
I don't think if you ask her that point blank, you would receive an honest answer. So just be honest with her. You're confused, you have feelings and you don't want to be strung along. Set some boundaries and go from there.
Unless you're enjoying the perks of her attraction more that you are admitting ...
I think you're the rebound guy. After a 2 year relationship it's hard to acclimate to being on your own. You're easing her transition by playing pseudo boyfriend and she can segue into the single life with her self esteem intact. Harsh, I know, but some people need that reassurance before they move on. I'm wondering how she could move on so quickly from a 2 year relationship. Honestly, if it was a decent relationship, you really can't. There is baggage there, for sure.
Don't be too hard on her though. She's looking for comfort and reassurance, I think. I can't see her being deliberately obtuse about your feelings, I think she's just trying to make her way through something difficult. Seeking familiarity amid upheaval is a natural human response. Maybe if you were completely honest with her about how you feel and how she's making you feel, you could get a proper response from her. Might not one you want, but at least you have a chance of knowing where you stand.