How do I approach this situation?

So to make a long story short, me and this girl dated for a couple months in high school but stayed friends. Although we went to different schools we would hangout a couple times a year along with text a occasionally about stuff that reminded us of each other. During this time we talked and almost dated again a couple times all the times it was ended by her. Now we are in sophomores in college and she sent me a txt saying hey I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I responded like I did the other times we occasionally txt (usually like 10 15 txt each then kinda stop). Two weeks later I ended up visiting her school (my good friends go there). I told her this and we hangout throughout the weekend and after have been txting everyday since. Now we both went on Thanksgiving break hangout twice went over to her place she came to mine, hangout with friends what not. Very good "dates" I guess you could call them. And we kissed goodnight after each one.

I am trying to kinda figure out where she stands anywhere she wants to go with the relationship weather she wants to date or just stay friends. I go to another school and play baseball so I understand I probably would not see her at all spring semester and only about twice in the fall semester. Should I straight up ask what she wants or kind of keep the stay close friends thing we got going on? I really care for this girl and don't want to come on to strong like we have to date, even though that is what I would prefer, it would be hard on her I think. I don't want to lose her if we stay like we are now! How do you think I should approach this?!? thank you for your replies.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • well it's kind of a difficult situation.the fact that you are friends but also have been dating makes things more complicated.you are beginning your college life now and there will be a point where you will have to move on.you could try a long distance relationship after you talk to her about it but be sure to know that it is going to be difficult.I would suggest talking to her about this about how she feels about you and what you both want because in my opinion if you leave things this way it's not gonna end well.either one of you will fall in love and the other will not so one gets hurt ,or one of you moves on in another relationship faster than the other so again one of you gets hurt.you need to make things clear.

    I hope I helped you even a little bit and if you want I can talk about this more thoroughly...

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    • I think you answered that perfectly! We come back from school in two weeks so I will probably talk to her about it then. You think there's any specific things I should say? or just keep it short and sweet. The "i care about you where do you want this to go" type gig.

    • i should have thought before I commented but, do you think were just doomed to fail? for the first time I feel as if a relationship wouldn't be the best thing to do now, because after the first month I wouldn't see her for three! but I understand what your saying and I don't really want to lose her to someone else. Do you think talking about it might actually be a bad idea? for some reason I feel like it will go the wrong way. P.s. Someone already fell in love. I did on the second day I met her.

    • so you're in love with her.period.you have to decide whether you want her to know or not.approaching her by telling her that you care is the best way I think because firstly you will not scare her and secondly you will see how she responds and that will determine how you will proceed.I mean if she shows signs of caring in the same way for you then definitely go for the long distance thing.If however she doesn't and she wants to be just friends well that will kinda suck but at least you will know

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