Girls, could I get your advice about my date? I'm very upset.

(•) I went on a date last night with this Girl,I said about dinner and she said I'd rather go to a Pub.And I was that's fine,So I went to her house with a bottle of wine and I gave her a Christmas present.When we went to the pub,I bought her a drink but then 10minutes later she asked for another drink,I got her a another drink but then 10minutes after that she asked for another one :/ And I got her another one...But then we went to the club and she was all over this really ugly guy and then she told me that night for me to help her find a Bi-sexual girlfriend and she was being serious...

(•) I feel so stupid and sad and used and I need YOUR advice please.I even dressed up for her and got advice off you girls yesterday for the date,Got her drink,Respected her,made sure she was okay,got her a gift,wine and this is what I get :( and then telling me to help her find a bi-sexual girl for her and goes off with this Really ugly guy to another club and left me behind outside as I couldn't get in because the bouncer was nasty- Spots,scars, you name it that guy had it,I need your advice please :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • She was being really rude and selfish. To be honest with you, you should've left after she was literally asking for drinks every couple of minutes. Not every girl is like that, let me tell you that. Though it sucks, just see it as a lesson. Not every date will go great or will even be "fine", some will suck and make you count down the minutes you can go home. I've been on dates like that. Though I do think it's not such a bad idea to meet up for something casual first. No dinner, because then you feel kinda obligated to sit through dinner even though the date isn't going that well. So maybe take your next girl out for a drink (and try to notice if she offers to pay for some too), or if there's an event during the day (or evening) that you'd like to do.

    How long have you been talking to this girl before you asked her out? I do think it was very sweet of you to bring her a gift and make so much effort, so don't let one (or a couple) bad dates get you down, there will always be crappy dates, but there will be great dates too, and when you find a girl who makes a date great, then you'll forget about all those crappy ones or even find them quite funny.


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What Girls Said 3

  • I think she was really rude and manipulative,and you shouldn't waste your time with her. And if she liked that nasty guy she probably isn't into nice people like you who treated her really well. You should forget her as soon as you can,it may seem a clichè but she doesn't deserve you. It's not your problem,but hers. Maybe she likes only ugly guys, don't let your self-esteem be scarred by this!

  • Theres really no advice to give other then she's not interested and was extremely rude and took advantage of u... sounds like there is something wrong with her if you ask me. you sound like a sweet guy, but it sounds like you need more confidence in yourself... you didn't do anything wrong.

  • Sorry to learn that, yes I remember you asking for advices too..

    Seem like it is another case of girl taking advantage of a guy generousity, I hope this incident won't scar you forever. Please drop her and move on. I know it hurts to be treated this way. Don't keep in touch with her anymore.


What Guys Said 4

  • Sorry it went so poorly. However, you did make some mistakes along the way.

    Mistake #1: You wanted to take her out to dinner on date #1. Too expensive, too awkward. Make the next one more activity-oriented.

    Mistake #2: You bought her a Christmas present. What has she done to earn such a thoughtful gesture? Seems to me that you're trying to buy her approval of you.

    Mistake #3: You bought her a second drink. Buying the first isn't a big deal to me. But she finished it in 10 minutes and asked for another! What the fuck?!?!? Did she just down the entire thing? That would've been an instant deal-breaker for me. If she was attractive, she would go from my 'potential romantic partner' list to my 'fuck and chuck' list.

    Mistake #4: You bought her a third drink after she pulled the same stunt again. At this point, you've just non-verbally told her that she can use you, and she did...and you allowed it. She now thinks you lack a spine.

    Mistake #5: She was all over another guy on your date and you stood there watching. Now that she thinks she can use/abuse you in any way she sees fit, she's off to find someone else.

    I've taken a look through your previous questions, and I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh, but you have approval-seeking behaviour written all over you. Here's my advice to your situation.

    #1: Don't buy a girl a gift until she has earned it. That means, nothing on the first date.

    #2: Don't let girls take advantage of your wallet.

    #3: Don't put up with misbehaviour.

    #4: If she does either #2 or #3, do not be afraid to put your foot down, tell her she's being a bitch, and walk away from her. That let's her know she cannot take advantage of you and her respect for you will instantly go up. She won't pull that shit again.

    #5: Take women's advice with a heavy grain of salt. As you said, you did everything they suggested and look what you wound up with. What women say they want and what they respond to are two different things, as you've experienced.

    #6: Again, sorry for the abrasive nature but grow a God damn spine. You are a man. You are not some prima donna's lapdog. You deserve respect, so don't jump through hoops to try to win approval. Nobody respects a person they can use, and she my friend, definitely didn't respect you.

    Keep your head up. You'll find better women, I'm sure of it. But you'll have more success if you aren't approval seeking.

  • What advice do you need? She wasn't into you and she didn't sound like dating material. It's not about you. she is who she is, and isn't into you. No big deal. There are others ...

  • That's why you don't go all out for a girl who hasn't committed to you in some way.

  • You sound like a girl ... take a spoon of cement and harden up. No advice to give you ... you gotta move on ! She sounds like trash anyway !