I caught my husband cheating on me through his cell phone text messages ;-(

We have been married for 2 years and our marriage is not going on well.We don't get along much but we stay for some reasons.Two days ago while he went to the wash room at the gas station I sneaked his phone and found out some of his conversations where he just admit about his status and that girl was getting mad about it.In that text he seems begged her not to leave and told her he isn't happy with me.The worst part is he even told her that he always feels like he is single and I seem don't exist in his life! He kept telling her how he missed her so much and apologized to her non-stop,asking her if she still want to be with him.He has many of her pictures and even sent her his topless pictures.There are a lot more crazy stuffs about both of them inside.Now I thought about confronting him but I am not well prepared.My question is does he love her? Or he just want to have a good time? I know he brought her to movies and dinner too.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok... you're in a shitty situation. I feel sorry for you. But you're only 27, and way too young to lock yourself into a shitty situation for the rest of your life.

    First thing you've got to do is take accountability for letting your marriage slip into the state it's in in the first place. Lets face it, it's a huge factor for what your husband is cheating, and regardless of whether he stays your husband in the future or not, if you don't get this problem under control, the same thing will just happen again and again in the future.

    Then, you've go to do what's best for you. You've still got time to go and find another, more perfect husband and that is a real possible solution you've got to consider.

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    • Yes, it's HER fault her husband is a cheating scumbag. Makes perfect sense.

      Marriages fail for a number of reasons, but going ahead and blaming her for HIS infidelity is pretty low.

      There may have been problems in their relationship, but that gives him no right to screw around behind her back. If it's not working out, if the love has faded, he should have told her so and resolved the issue like an adult.

      Way to defend a cheater.

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    • It's called having a sense of humour, love. That was a Full Metal Jacket quote, shame on you for not recognizing it.

    • Well, excuse me for mistaking your sense of humor for racist bigotry.

What Guys Said 5

  • It doesn't matter if he loves her or he wants to just fun. His words were kind of disrespectful towards u. And I don't think he would said so much to her if he didn't mean all that. I don't know if he loves her but he surely doesn't love you anymore. There is nothing to be prepared of. You need to talk to him. Sooner to later you are gonna have to face it. I don't see any point in waiting. In such cases I think all you need is to start the conversation and it would bring all those past things into the scene which cause problems in your relationship. Blame game. But still you guys need to find out about what you are looking for it future. If he has made his mind to breakup with you than that would be it. Go for it.

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  • Ewww I know this feeling... I have been cheated on and found out that way as well. That sinking heavy heart dropping into your gut. Fear and questions set in and your racing heart in a pit of pain.

    This marriage is over as you know it. That trust is gone.

    the best this relationship can get from here on out. If he gets rid of her completely and wants to work things out with you. You will be on edge with every text he receives, if he is a minute late, or distant, and you will question every single word that comes out of his lie hole !

    He abandoned you and vowed to only you ! Whatever you do never blame yourself. You did nothing wrong to deserve abandonment and used and lied to.

    A cheaters MO doesn't change unless a total life change occurs . Like an alcoholic turning his entire life around and mindset...

    I am so sorry for your loss, I wish I could take that pain away from you...

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  • What does it matter if he loves her or not, he is willing to betray you, and this is unacceptable in any marriage, and I personally would want out instantly, I could not forgive that sort of betrayal and never would,x

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  • "We don't get along much but we stay for some reasons."

    Sounds bad, after just 2 yrs.

    What kind of reasons? Kids, family, money? Health?

    How old is he?

    What's his explanation?

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  • To answer your question he does not love her and she is an outlet for his frustrations.

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What Girls Said 11

  • He may not really love her but it sure sounds as if he at least thinks he does . rather he loves her or not is not even the issue . he cheated on you and it don't sound like it was just for sex either . most men who want a bootycall don't also take her out for dinner and movies . I would never want someone to end there marriage without at least trying to make it work first but in some situations there really is no point in being together anymore . sure sometimes you can get past the cheating and move on it can happen but it depends on why you really want to stay together for example if you and him really love each other then it is worth trying to get past BUT if your staying together just to keep the family then that is not enough . your both unhappy and now he is cheating and you are hurt . is that really the kind of family that you would want ? so what do you do now ? do you stay or leave ?

    IF YOU STAY : the only way to keep a marriage and get past when one of you cheats is you will both have to be completely honest about what happen . he will really have to want to stop his cheating and be with you and you will have to trust him . this means when you get into future arguments you don't bring up the cheating . if your not able to look past this then it will mess up your marriage from now on . you are the one he should be begging to stay not her . you are his WIFE. you need to decide what you want to do before you talk to him because once he finds out you know he probably will try to lie about it or even make it seem like your fault and its not . you do need to tell him you know about the cheating and if you and him want to work it out if it can be worked out that is on you but if you can't trust him no more then there is no point . you only been married two years don't waste another 2 years being married just for the sake of the family . if you both are unhappy then at least respect each other enough to let each other go . I know how you feel this has happen to me also . my husband even look me in my face and told me infront of his mistress that he never loved me .. and still I stayed .. now I look back and wish I wouldn't have wasted my time like I did . divorce is hard but its harder to stay married to someone who cheats and lies to you . he told her he wasn't happy with you ! if that is the case he should have cared enough to at least tell you that BEFORE he cheated . I don't think you are happy either . you are both young . if you can't get past it then get out while you can before you end up 35 stuck in a marriage you hate . go find someone who WANTS and LOVES you girl .. he is only out for himself .

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  • It doesn't matter whether he loves her or not. The lack of respect, loyalty and trust he's shown in this relationship is proof that it's over. Don't attempt to find a silver lining in the situation based on whether he "loves" her or not. That point is irrelevant. The point is how much he loves you, and how much you love yourself. It's not worth staying.

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  • The question shouldn't be is he in love with her or what, it should be how soon should I get a restraining order and have him booted out of the house. Be smart, bide your time, find a lawyer and get this looser the hell out of your house and your life.

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  • I am so sorry. You need to feel all the emotions you are feeling; cry eat all the icecream, do whatever you have to, you deserve comfort. After that, define and acknowledge the situation. The man you are married to is cheating on you You have zero responsibility. He betrayed the marriage with the decision to cheat. Now, you have to decide if you want to be married to someone who cheats. Take deep breaths and ponder it. "What kind of marriage do I want?" If you write some thing's down, and 'to be cheated on' is not one of them, I suggest you move on.. it won't be easy as you know better than me. But that is just your choice. The beauty in this is that you have the power to change the situation, and you can change it for the better. There ARE men out there who will treat you how you deserve

    Do what makes you happy. Demand what you deserve

    :)

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  • Just leave him. Pack your shit and leave him wondering why you left. If you have no kids, awesome that just makes stuff easier. If you confront him he will question why you were snooping through his stuff.

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    • She has a good point. You have nothing to discuss with him unless its about the divorce papers. I am so so sorry. I think the simpler you leave, the simpler this will all be for you. You don't want to drag out the pain. He doesn't deserve an explanation anyway. That'd be too nice for him

  • Doesn't matter if he loves her because it sounds like he doesn't love you and that is all that matters. You are very young. At your age I hadn't even had my first serious relationship. You can walk away from him and have your whole life ahead of you so don't even consider the time wasted with him when you decide to stay or go. Everyone deserves to either be with someone who really loves them or to be alone and love themselves. Being with the wrong person isn't worth the pain. Don't forget your value.

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  • We can't tell you if he loves her or not; only he knows that.

    Why are you still together? There's obviously major problems here... You need to try to work out these problems or you might as well get divorced.

    If it's this bad two years in and he's already cheating on you do you really expect it to get any better?

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  • I'm so sorry this happened to you, but I think there's no point for you to wonder if he's in love with her or not, because either way he's not in love with you. At least, not anymore.

    It's time to move on, love.

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  • You are only treated how you allow yourself to be treated, do you want to keep on being treated like this? He is the potential father of your children if you stay together, do you want you kids father to be a cheat.

    You have no real long term ties/commitments to him, it's easy to leave now before much damage is done. If you leave now you can find a new bf/husband one who doesn't cheat and if they do you can leave them too because you are only treated the way you allow yourself to be treated.

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  • I never t rust a guy to love a third party , cheater like to have best of two worlds. And they always say or promise sky for girl they are attracted to. Please talk to him about what you found out. He has to choose either you or her.

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  • Have a 3sum. .

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