First date troubleshooting?

So...I have never date...ever. But there is this girl I really like and we kinda are hitting it off so how do I ask her on a date? Do I need to get her phone number before I ask her on the date? Is lunch better than a dinner date? What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your first dates should be CHEAP! I strongly recommend a $20 budget, TOTAL, for each of your first 3 dates. Why? Several reasons:

    1. Most importantly, it forces you to THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX and not rely on you spending money on her to impress her.

    2. It forces you to do things that involve talking to each other, rather than watching a movie or interacting with waiters and restaurant staff. What girls REALLY want from a date is for you to pay attention to them and to talk a lot with each other.

    3. It makes her more relaxed, because you aren't spending a lot of money on her, and thus she won't feel like you expect things from her because of how much you spent on the date. Many girls get very uncomfortable if the guy spends too much money, because it makes her feel obligated, or at the very least, makes her think that HE thinks she is obligated to give him sex or sexual stuff (making out, etc.).

    4. Early dates are "getting to know you" events, but as you get to know someone, you often find out they aren't the best match for you. Given that, it is foolish to spend a bunch of money on a failed experiment.

    5. Girls are more comfortable, and appreciate it more, if you spend money on them LATER, once you're much further along in the relationship. Money you spend on early dates is wasted on them mentally/emotionally - they don't really appreciate it, and it sets a bad precedent.

    6. Not to be too cynical, but this prevents you from being taken advantage of by girls who just want to use you for your money and for you to entertain them.

    So, ask her out on a "day date". Go for a walk or a drive. Make a picnic lunch, or plan a between-meals date. Plan something where you have some kind of activity for a little while, but where you also have LOTS of time (relatively) alone to talk. Adapt to your local circumstances, but remember that most of the date should be the two of you asking and answering questions of each other (and paying attention to each other), and in the process trying to learn if you two are a good match or not. The sooner you learn a lot about the other person, the sooner you'll know if you are wasting your time or if it might be going somewhere.

    Save the dinner dates until you are much more serious, which is going to be a ways down the road. You want CASUAL in the beginning, and ramp up the seriousness VERY SLOWLY over time, unless it's obvious that you're a great match and she's "all in" 100%.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Ask for number, ask for lunch.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Lunch is definitely much more relaxing than dinner. Coffee is even better. It's a pretty chill environment. Dinner usually means going to a decent priced restaurant and that can sometimes give off the wrong impression. If you pay a hefty price, she's going to think you've got a good back account and think that almost every date will be on you and will be expensive. I'm not saying look cheap but save the expensive meal for a later date. Now of course not all girls are like that but it's better to be safe than sorry, especially on a first date.

    Anyway, just go ahead and ask her out. If she says yes, DEFINITELY get her number. If she says no, not all is lost. If she's cool and mature, ask her for her number so y'all can just chat and hopefully build some sort of friendship.

    As for a date, do something fun that you both will enjoy. I usually say no to movies and dinner. Cliche and they're really not the best ways to see each others' true selves. However, if you're both big into movies or hopeless romantics and want the wine and dine thing, go for it brother.

    Good luck.

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